Latest topics
Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:14 pm by Vic Vegas

» BETTER THAN YOU vs RAY OF LIGHT monster fight
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:03 pm by Dux Mortalitas

» Tracking Arena Statistics
Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:20 pm by Lelu Dallas

» New but not so new
Sun Sep 16, 2018 11:13 am by Modofo

» Ground Control to Major Tom
Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:50 pm by Vic Vegas

» BIGGO vs MENDELSON SHAPE monster fight
Thu Aug 23, 2018 2:57 pm by sliv

» UW-XVII Week-13 Results (Final results)
Sun Aug 05, 2018 3:38 pm by Dux Mortalitas

» UW-XVII Week-12 Results
Thu May 03, 2018 5:53 pm by Stalker

» UW-XVII Week-11 Results
Thu Apr 26, 2018 5:31 pm by Vic Vegas


Volume 1, Issue 4 - Turn 352

Go down

Volume 1, Issue 4 - Turn 352

Post  Admin on Tue May 17, 2011 1:19 am

Hello and welcome to the Turn 352 Edition of the Gazette!

Coming to you once again from the beautiful city and arena of Veteran's Blade, this is the fourth edition of the Pitt Gazette. This turn we bring you two Featured Articles by The Gazetteer himself with contributions elsewhere by Senior LoD Correspondent, Poeg.

Let's get on with it shall we?

We open this week's issue with a very special milestone, covered in-depth last issue. Zurn Bloodbringer, while extending his own record for Oldest Half-Orc, consequently became the first Half-Orc to survive 200 fights on Veteran's Blade's sands.

While Zurn did lose to Caesar Invictus's own legendary human (and fellow member of the 200 Fight Club), Gideon, we're sure that this result did not in any way mute the celebration in Sleazee P. Martinee's stable, or elsewhere in the city and among Half-Orcs everywhere.

One Half-Orc reveler, Thag, kindly took a moment to speak to the Gazette, saying "This big. All Orc kind proud. Celebrate. Big party. Lot of Elf women. Good times."

Truly, Thag. Truly.

Stalker emerged from his semi-isolation recently to announce that the next Undefeated Warrior contest is set to begin on or around Turn 354. Several rule changes have been proposed for UW VI, any of which, if implemented, could have a major impact on the outcome of the contest.

The most popular suggested change so far seems to be that which would award separate crowns to warriors who begin the contest between 0-99 fights and those above. Other suggested changes include disqualification for challenging a warrior during the contest or disqualification for a "negative honor" challenge (with the second item being significantly more subjective and therefore potentially more controversial). Feeling around that arena seemed to be that either change would clearly hamper some managers more than others.

Regardless, anticipation for the next Undefeated Warrior contest is extremely high around Veteran's Blade. Is this the year that someone finally wrests the crown back from the Legion of Darkness? Though Undefeated Warrior IV ended without a champion, the last three championships awarded belong to Solincar Nelflan, Valcor Aurthor and Palor. Not since Bandit's victory in the inaugural Undefeated Warrior contest has a non-Legion of Darkness warrior taken home the crown.

Reached for comment on his alliance's streak of UW wins, Palor noted, "Of course we in the Legion of Darkness expect to continue our usual dominance of the Undefeated Warrior Competition. It's games such as these that bring out our true fighting spirit."

Certainly this year should see as much or more serious competition from other Veteran's Blade alliances, with GAPPDA membership having grown slightly (and become more involved) in the last year and with the formation of the No Bozos Squad last summer. Death in Effect's consistent members, Sanguine Savior and Ilneval, also must be taken into account.

Certainly the independents are no less of a threat. Given an additional year of seasoning, up-and-coming managers like Vic Vegas, Drachir, Master Misfit, Stimpy and Acheron have to all be considered as potential aspirants to the crown alongside older independents like Tolome, Terminator and Caesar Invictus (who, it should be noted, is the last manager to win a sanctioned tournament in our Arena). It would also be foolish to count out even younger managers who benefit from significant veteran support, like Sdan and Frank the Tank.

One way or another, the staff at the Gazette look forward to the melees.

82 weeks.

The last sanctioned tournament in Veteran's Blade's arena occurred fully 82 weeks ago, following Turn 280. In the time since the last tournament we have seen the passing (or ascension) of every previous tournament winner, including the winner of the Death Tournament itself, Caesar Invictus' Halfing Velocity.

Winner of the first Veteran's Blade tourney, Frederick Sandwichson? Long dead now, killed in a random match mere weeks after the last tournament by Dux Mortalitas' Dwarf Frankie.

Ratyr, winner of the second Veteran's Blade sanctioned tourney? Not dead, but now working for the other team as a member of the Blood Master's Monsters.

Velocity, our last champion, survived 30 turns after the tourney, but had begun to slide towards mediocrity before he was killed by Sanguine Savior's Canyon Coldheart.

So the question on everyone's mind is "Will there ever be another sanctioned tournament?"

There are many managers among us now who have never been part of a sanctioned tournament. Others, including most of GAPPDA and the No Bozos Squad, had only been part of the arena for a few turns the last time a tournament ran.

"I didn't even send a decent warrior into the last tournament," said Acheron when asked for comment. "My glads were maybe six turns old, I barely knew anything about these games. I used the tournament as a lark to monster my worst original gladiator. I would be ecstatic if a tournament were announced for this winter."

Other managers so desire another tournament that they have sent impressive 99-fight warriors into semi-retirement (along with their teams) in anticipation. While Dux's Pitt has only been sitting for a few turns, Caesar Invictus has kept Punisher and his team shelved for a full year now (since turn 310) waiting for the next sanctioned tournament.

How much longer will they wait? Recent comments from both managers have indicated that their enthusiasm has begun to wain. There are rumors that a few more turns might see both of these warriors come out of retirement in a direct clash. While this would surely be an impressive meeting of titanic warriors, and The Gazette would cover such a fight with much anticipation, it would be even better if the entire Arena could see them fight in another sanctioned tournament.

Will we get our wish? Only the shadowy entity known as The Keeper, who manages the Arena grounds and sets schedules and match-ups, knows.

We hope for all of Veteran's Blade that this question is answered soon.

Turn 352 marked the final appearance on of six notable veteran warriors, though only one above 100 fights in experience.

Recently anointed 100-Fight warrior Niclitt Fastoun was brutally slain on the sands by Izzboticus' own recent addition to the 100-Fight fraternity, Chutzpah.

Following Sir Brandox's Halfling to Valhalla were several other 50+ warriors, most notably Lord Kelvin's stand-out Elf Huntress (56-29-1), Izzbot's veteran Half-Elf Hack the Planet (50-40-4), Drachir's winningest warrior, Half-Orc Iron Man (43-28-3). Rounding out the veteran dead were Valcor's unlamented Elf Dullard (31-38-2) and Xenzar's unremarkable Human Vic (30-22-2).

Turning briefly to Lord Kelvin's Huntress, it's almost always a special kind of rivalry when one LoD warrior meets another on the sands. They are always bloody events and often fatal. Rucker’s Red's meeting with Huntress, as we know now, turned out no different. While both warriors shared similar records, Huntress had ridden out the rougher road on her way to her final match, which was made all too clear by the mess that was left on the sands. Huntress was carrying a fatal flaw and it happened to be square in the sights of Poeg’s Half-Elf.

We caught up with Rucker’s Red after the fight and before the question was even asked he said to us “We met a while ago, she and I. She gave me this scar to remind me of that match, her abilities, and how much more I had to develop. Since then I’ve improved much and refined my art. It’s too bad that when I gave her something to remember me by, it was to be her last.” Just before leaving us for Poeg’s awaiting coach, Rucker's Red turned and threw us one more notable quote ,“The reflection of our death in the eyes of a brother or sister holds no fear. Today was a good day.”

Lord Kelvin took a moment before leaving the Arena for the day to note "In reality, Hot Carl probably killed Huntress [with a deeply damaging hit in her previous fight]. Huntress just didn't realize she was dead til that first hit by Rucker's Red."

We close out this section with a choice reflection on another of the deceased, Dullard. Danny D Bloody caught up with our reporter moments after Chuck the Barkeep had finished his dirty business for the turn, saying "Valcor Arthur made a mistake challenging Chuck. 56 fights against 68 fights...maybe Valcor was thinking the fight advantage would help him. But Chuck's a beast and got his 6th kill. Or maybe Valcor was just looking to get rid of Dullard without monstering him."


Turn 352 was a more active turn for BCs in Veteran's Blade, but with a return more to the form of 350, with a staggering number of upward BC attempts, for the most part crushed like bugs by those on the receiving end.


Turn 352 did see a small number of excellent BC fight offs by warriors at significant disadvantages. Fight disadvantage in parentheses.

Davron's Florin (11)
Lady Templar's Nixon (10)
D-man's Ray (9 + the KILL)
Mithril's Raarx (8)
Davron's Romulus (7)
Cliff Banana's Loja (4)
Alphaforce's Pual "The Big" (2)
Chaos Lillith's EE Cummings (2)
Xavier's Confessor Eko (1)

Again The Gazette gets to congratulate a number of warriors for just showing up to put the hurt on some poor honor farming fool (with notable exceptions like Mystical Charade v. Kartoth, a fully serious BC). Fight advantage in parenteses.

Terminator's Bomuras (55)
Izzboticus' Searphym (38)
Marius' Neon Genesis (28)
Adrian's I Am An Experiment (26)
Gouged Eye's Fru-Noggin (22 + the KILL)
Sanguine Savior's Mystical Charade (18)
Gouged Eye's Kali (14)
Sons of Satan's Dudley Do-Right (13)
Jackie K's Kuma (5)
Hosehead's Damand Blast (4)
Drakus' Belial (2)
Ragnarok's Fang Skin (1)
Fusion's Ivy (1)

BC Fight Off of the Week is a tough call, but the Gazette hereby awards Lady Templar's Nixon, who fought off Ilneval's nasty Dwarf Reclusion while ranked 220 slots lower. Florin, Ray, Raarx and Romulus were all much lower ranked at the time of their fights and did not face a warrior in Reclusion's class.

Tolome BC'd up twice this turn...and lost one warrior for his trouble, to Gouged Eye's Fru-Noggin. Not only did he lose the warrior, he only gained 3 honor points from the BC, as Fru-Noggin was below .500 before the fight. Excellent work, citizen!

Leave it to The Warlord to top this list this week, by dropping Luka Skyrunner, ranked 3rd in the entire arena, onto Dude Doomer's Metallica 2. While other BCs may have accumulated more official dishonor from the current system, it seems obvious to the Gazette that this BC was the true standout from the turn.

Other BCs that stood out this turn in their lack of integrity include Danny D Bloody dropping 70-Fight Gimli4 on Gouged Eye's 9-fight Maewyn (accumulating 16 points of dishonor by the current reckoning), Vic Vegas impaling Robert Crenshaw's 6-fight Aboli with 50-fight Basque (for 14 points of dishonor) and Stalker using 69-fight Battle Dwarf to club The Demon's 12-fight Nemesis (for 9 points of dishonor). Rounding out the major BCs was another big drop by DDB (in this case on Nads' 8-fight Morningstar Aftr Pil by 26-fight Sheila) and Panther (yet again) putting the hurt on Overlord's Shady Grove.

Tolome continued his recent quest for honor points with a 17-point, 8-17 turn. Following up Tolome was Black Foxx, who reaped the single largest bounty to date in killing Sah's Human Dwyne, and, of course, the one and only Cliff Banana, who not only pulled in 11.3 points of honor, but did so in winning 20 of his singles fights and without pulling in a bounty.

This week also saw one manager collecting on two separate bounties for the first time in Veteran's Blade history, with Acheron's slayings of Humma Kuvula from Hosehead's stable and Fat Kid from Gramps' stable. I'm sure everyone is as stunned as we here at The Gazette by the thought of a Gramps warrior carrying dishonor.

Other managers and warriors who reaped honor bounties this turn include D-man and his warrior Ray for dispatching Shane Davis's Blood Challenger Crazy Person, Dude Doomer's Bogoss 6 for terminating The Warlord's Horrick and Hosehead's butt Hat for cleansing Drachir's Iron Man from the gene pool.

Sleazee P. Martinee had something of an "off turn" dishonor-wise, with his dishonor total being exceeded by three other managers this week. Congratulations to Danny D Bloody for setting a new dishonor record with 26.4 points accrued this week, mostly through two fairly lopsided BCs. Still, nothing that occurred in the arena this week puts Sleazee's hold on the all-time top spot nearly in jeopardy.

The Gazette's coveted Manager of the Week award was hotly contested this turn, but in combining a team-fightless turn with a solid set of up-challenges, Cliff Banana is our winner for Turn 352.

Honorable Mention is shared by two managers this week. We grant this honor to E=MC2 (while honoring this young manager, The Gazette does urge him to get a better manager name...for the children) for bringing in a strong 20-5 record with an extremely young roster and to Sdan who also generated 20 wins, which included a single 5-man team fight win over a strong Stimpy-led team.

While Izzbot has had some trouble keeping his veteran warriors alive since coming back from his hiatus (Half-Elf Hack the Planet being the most recent to die), this marks the second kill in three turns by warriors in his stable who recently reached 100 Fights (Seraphym's kill of R.I.P. being the other).

As noted by Dux around the tavern this week, The Bloodmasters' Peasant Scum had an interesting turn, dispatching two warriors in team fights (JT The Half-Ogre's Fuji the better of the two) and even beat one of Veterans Blade's favorite sandbagger's top teams (Shopslave's Aliensamoungus).

Arch-Angel filled up the morgue with six bodies this week, of which five were self-inflicted. Mr. Binx graciously stepped in to help with the house cleaning on number 6.

We hear that a small wake was held for Dullard's passing by the Half Orcs in several stables, most notably among those being Xavier's and Acheron's.

We hear that Tolome's quixotic honor farming adventure will cease during the upcoming Undefeated Warrior contest. On a related note, we hear that changes may be coming to the honor system soon in part to discourage knee-jerk honor farming upwards challenges.

There are rumors in the Sewer District of a death mark upon Travelocity Gnome and Gnomewrecker. Who could be behind such a thing? Watch out in Dagger Alley!

This week someone, and The Gazette suspects certain members of the No Bozos Squad, sent a king-sized cherry cake to manager Sleazee P Martinee with the words "Cherry Picker Martini" written in frosting on top.

Who's fighting who? We have to ask this week, as an initial volley in a proposed GAPPDA v. NBS war seemed to devolve into complete chaos once the official declaration was handed out. Acheron apparently was part of the original deal and it appears that Sleazee P. Martinee is the next to join in.

We hear that local officials detained several Halflings after this turn's action and questioned them about shipments of Little Debbies into Veteran's Blade. The city magistrate would not comment on an ongoing investigation, but we hear that suspicion originally arose over two specific kills this week by Halflings in a top manager's stable. When reached for comment, one of the Halflings said "Are you kidding me? Are you #$$%ing kidding me? If anyone has been getting into performance-enhancing potions its D.I.E.'s Half-Orcs."

That's if for this week's edition of The Gazette! If you'd like to submit items for a future edition or provide feedback and clarifications, please pm them to my account on

-The Staff at The Pitt Gazette

Posts : 35

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum