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What a Fumble!!!!

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What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Ilneval on Fri May 13, 2011 2:54 am

COPPERBEARD whirls clockwise, in a quick strike at BUNNY
COPPERBEARD misses like a bozo

_________________________________________________



Listen here Wolfchild. I speak to you of the science of mythology. I speak of malevolent deviation. The psychotronic love commandos. We shall be drunk on stars, we shall fear nothing. Demand the impossible. Dream your destiny. Defy the logic of alphabets. I've slain the King Of The Wolves! Nothing is impossible!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Klagrok on Fri May 13, 2011 11:35 pm

Good ole Copperbeard. I remember that fight Very Happy
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Validian on Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:28 am

RAKAN almost flings a weapon windward, and flings his weapon at the ref!

But was the flung weapon the same as the almost flung?

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sat Jul 19, 2014 11:57 pm

SPLITTER retreats, almost tripping on a bone
SPLITTER charges MS. MARVEL with his javelin!
SPLITTER nearly trips, ruining a good strike
SPLITTER slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, and strikes at the firmament!
SPLITTER attempts a blow against MS. MARVEL
SPLITTER swings for the moon
The referee grumbles and says 'Make me grin, hit dummy again!'

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:21 pm

MATTY slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, to nobody's surprise

CRAASKA slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, blowing a good opportunity to bring pain

SATYRITES REYNESII slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, just as everyone expected

MAXIMILLIAN R. slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, missing an opportunity to attack

KHAL DROGO slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, dodging a nonexistent attack

BUCKHORN slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, creating a divot with his face!

GHETTO RAT slips attempting to avoid stepping on an endangered plant, leaving her guard wide open!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:26 pm

OAK strikes at just the right moment, surprising PILARA!
OAK attacks urgently with his halberd
OAK is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his brigandine
OAK misses widely
OAK strikes out oafishly, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!

---

BURRISA shifts expectantly to one side
BURRISA steps quickly toward ROGER THE SHRUBBER
BURRISA misses badly, and ends up overextended
BURRISA strikes out oafishly, gracefully leaving her guard wide open!

---

ALTERBOY moves quickly to attack THWACK
ALTERBOY makes an attack that fails miserably
ALTERBOY strikes out oafishly, dropping his guard!

---

A DADA SUR MON BIDET anxiously awaits his foe's inevitable blunder
A DADA SUR MON BIDET leaps in toward BURRISA
A DADA SUR MON BIDET fails to score a hit
A DADA SUR MON BIDET strikes out oafishly, and falls flat on his butt!

---

PISSOFF lunges skillfully forward
PISSOFF risks a clumsy blow, which misses
PISSOFF strikes out oafishly, and flips ponderously onto his face!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:34 pm

TIGER LILY strikes out at the nimble PURPLESAURUS REX
TIGER LILY misses
TIGER LILY ineptly fumbles, gracefully leaving his guard wide open!
TIGER LILY engages the enemy with his broadsword
TIGER LILY slashes at PURPLESAURUS REX's pate
A weak blow is landed
PURPLESAURUS REX intends bodily harm to the stable TIGER LILY
PURPLESAURUS REX swings for the moon
A spectator calls out, 'Half-elf stab self!'

---

EPIDIDYMITIS takes a strategic step forward
EPIDIDYMITIS puts great fire and fury into his tower shield
EPIDIDYMITIS swings overzealously and misses
EPIDIDYMITIS fumbles with great prowness, and throws his shield over the arena wall!
EPIDIDYMITIS scoops up a war flail from the ground.

---

THOR spies an opening, and attacks SCIPIONYX
THOR is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his brigandine
THOR swings vaguely toward the enemy
THOR ineptly fumbles, bringing shame to other team members
The referee grunts and says 'What was that, grandma's hat?'

---

The referee grumbles and says 'What you need is big stone club!'
SORAH MAGDAR anxiously awaits his big chance
SORAH MAGDAR tries to hit DIVERTICULITIS
SORAH MAGDAR's foe proves too difficult to hit
SORAH MAGDAR ineptly fumbles, missing an opportunity to bring pain
The referee gruffly says 'Yaaarg!'

---

ROZILLA violently thrusts forward with her morningstar
ROZILLA accomplishes a near-miss with a clumsy attack
ROZILLA ineptly fumbles, and strikes at the firmament!

---

SLASHING SARA LEE leaps in toward SATYRITES REYNESII
SLASHING SARA LEE fails to score a hit
SLASHING SARA LEE ineptly fumbles, and plummets onto her butt!
SLASHING SARA LEE wallows in the mud like a pig
The crowd is shouting 'Kill kill kill!'

---

ALTERBOY strikes out at the powerful THWACK
THWACK's target shield is hit by a powerful shot and absorbs the impact admirably
THWACK rebounds from the parry and attacks, but crashes into the arena's wall!
ALTERBOY strikes out at THWACK
ALTERBOY misses wildly
ALTERBOY fumbles with great prowness, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!
The referee says 'What was that, grandma's hat?'
ALTERBOY guides a blow toward the powerful THWACK
ALTERBOY takes an unprepared swing and misses

---

DIRTY BOB takes a shot at the formidable GLADIATORE POPULO VI
DIRTY BOB swings overzealously and misses
DIRTY BOB ineptly fumbles, dropping his weapon in the dust!
DIRTY BOB switches his backup broadsword to his primary hand!
The referee grunts and says 'What got in head, something dead?'

---

Some Bozo shouts out 'Bring us the head of WANTED!'
WANTED initiates an unrestrained attack on BOOA
WANTED strikes out randomly, missing badly
WANTED ineptly fumbles, and reaps the whirlwind!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:42 pm

CHUBBY swiftly engages the muscular CARL THE CRACKER
CHUBBY takes a swipe at the ground
CHUBBY almost flings a weapon windward, like a bumbling clodknocker!

---

MOJO JR. surges forward with his short sword
MOJO JR. strikes out, but fails to hit
MOJO JR. almost flings a weapon windward, dropping his weapon in the dirt!

---

VOID robs an attack opportunity from OLD NAPOLEON!
VOID charges OLD NAPOLEON with his pole axe!
VOID misses, forgetting which way is up
VOID almost flings a weapon windward, pitching his weapon on the ground!
VOID switches his backup pole axe to his primary hand!

---

BANG! says 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!'
BANG! swiftly engages CLEANING LADY
BANG!'s efforts are wasted
BANG! almost flings a weapon windward, in an unbusinesslike fashion

---

SUN BEAR warily watches the enemy
SUN BEAR attacks fiercely with her morningstar
SUN BEAR falters in execution, failing to hit
SUN BEAR almost flings a weapon windward, missing a perfect opportunity to attack

---

BUDDAH THE THIRD anxiously awaits his foe's upcoming error
BUDDAH THE THIRD savagely attacks military pick gliding toward its target
BUDDAH THE THIRD launches an attack, but falls short of the mark
BUDDAH THE THIRD anxiously awaits his anticipated opening
BUDDAH THE THIRD intends bodily harm to RATCHET
BUDDAH THE THIRD makes an error in judgement and misses
BUDDAH THE THIRD almost flings a weapon windward, bringing shame to other team members
The referee gruffly says 'Don't trip on bone!'
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:48 pm

FEARN FROST scoops up a small pick from the ground.
FEARN FROST moves right
FEARN FROST executes a downward strike with his small pick
FEARN FROST strikes at the heavens
FEARN FROST thrashes randomly about, like a bumbling clodknocker!

---

The crowd is shouting 'Ulch!'
BLOODY PULP retreats, almost tripping on a bone
BLOODY PULP engages the enemy with his morningstar
BLOODY PULP is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his brigandine
BLOODY PULP's attack is intercepted by the ground
BLOODY PULP displays glacier-like reflexes, like a bumbling clodknocker!

---

CRAASKA moves unexpectedly under an attack by MIRROR MASQUE!
CRAASKA makes conservative attacks with her short sword
CRAASKA strikes out dubiously, failing to score a hit
CRAASKA clumsily trips, like a bumbling clodknocker!

---

MR DARK tries to disarm JABRONIE's boar spear with his bastard sword
JABRONIE takes special pains to thwart the attempt
JABRONIE's boar spear is knocked from his grasp!
JABRONIE switches his backup boar spear to his primary hand!
JABRONIE charges MR DARK with his boar spear!
JABRONIE strikes at the heavens
JABRONIE prances like a stumblebunny, like a bumbling clodknocker!

---

FOOL seeks to create pandemonium with his short sword
FOOL strikes out randomly, missing badly
FOOL develops a misaligned gyroscope, like a bumbling clodknocker!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:49 pm

ALMA JR. (AGE 5) stumbles, throwing off a good attack
KILLER RABBITT attacks suddenly, startling ALMA JR. (AGE 5)!
KILLER RABBITT seeks a damaging blow military pick spelling hurt for the foe
KILLER RABBITT stumbles, throwing off a good attack
KILLER RABBITT develops a misaligned gyroscope, destroying any chance to strike

---

The referee gruffly says, 'More gore!'
NARCOLEPSY pleads for the ref's protection
The referee picks a weed, laying it by a shallow hole
The crowd is shouting 'Kill the loser!'
NARCOLEPSY suddenly strikes at MENTAL NOTE
NARCOLEPSY nearly trips, ruining a good strike
NARCOLEPSY develops a misaligned gyroscope, thereby dropping her guard!
NARCOLEPSY anxiously awaits her foe's impending blunder
NARCOLEPSY fluidly darts back and forth with her stiletto
NARCOLEPSY nearly trips, ruining a good strike
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Klagrok on Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:25 am

GRIM'S REAPER is paying special attention to not being hit there!
GRIM'S REAPER zealously deflects the attack!
FASTAID+ swings swiftly javelin promising destruction
FASTAID+ swings for the sky


Still lost the fight  Crying or Very sad 
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sat Aug 30, 2014 11:53 pm

SKULL CRACKER risks a strike at GINYA
SKULL CRACKER fails to land a difficult shot
SKULL CRACKER expertly imitates a plague-ridden monkey, flinging his weapon over the arena wall!

---

That's the first time I've seen this line, verified by a quick search.  w00t!

It did lead to finding a few gems:

EPIDIDYMITIS takes a strategic step forward
EPIDIDYMITIS puts great fire and fury into his tower shield
EPIDIDYMITIS swings overzealously and misses
EPIDIDYMITIS fumbles with great prowness, and throws his shield over the arena wall!
EPIDIDYMITIS scoops up a war flail from the ground.

LOKEN parries and nearly falls over
LOKEN sees a chance for destruction, and assails HISTOPLASMOSIS
LOKEN strikes out dubiously, failing to score a hit
LOKEN cleverly backs into the ref, and flings his shield over the arena wall!

Which leads to another battle with one of KLAG's warriors:

ROUND AND ROUND's trainer turns suddenly pale
ROUND AND ROUND anxiously awaits his opportunity to draw serious blood
ROUND AND ROUND seeks to create pandemonium with his tower shield
ROUND AND ROUND is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his scale
ROUND AND ROUND narrowly misses
ROUND AND ROUND cleverly backs into the ref, and lets down his guard!
The referee grunts and says 'Hit the bum with big stone thumb!'

ORKORAPTOR says 'LOOK AT THESE TEETH.  I GOT LOADS OF 'EM.'
ORKORAPTOR rampages onward trident reflecting an eerie light
ORKORAPTOR misses, forgetting which way is up
ORKORAPTOR backs into the arena wall, kicking up much sand

The referee gruffly says 'Hold your clay, make dummy pay!'
PERPETUAL BURN makes a daring move pole axe whirling ominously
PERPETUAL BURN makes an erratic attack that fails to impact
PERPETUAL BURN backs into the arena wall, missing a perfect opportunity to attack
The referee says 'That's no toy! Try decoy!'

JULK darts to one side!
JULK steals an attack from CARLIA!
JULK seeks to create pandemonium with his halberd
JULK barely misses
JULK backs into the arena wall, dropping his guard!
JULK says 'I AM SOMEWHAT TIRED'

---
Did you notice EPIDIDYMITIS' typo above? Prowess spelled with an 'n'. Prowness. So I did another search:

ALTERBOY strikes out at THWACK
ALTERBOY misses wildly
ALTERBOY fumbles with great prowness, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!
The referee says 'What was that, grandma's hat?'

Hmmm... that 'flounders about' looks promising:

The referee says 'Beat the slime, or I make new rhyme!'
OAK strikes at just the right moment, surprising PILARA!
OAK attacks urgently with his halberd
OAK is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his brigandine
OAK misses widely
OAK strikes out oafishly, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!

(Oh, he made up for it!)

OAK bounces abruptly toward PILARA
OAK attempts to skewer PILARA's lower body
Massive disfigurement results from the attack!
PILARA has been permanently injured in the abdomen!!!
PILARA's ability to fight is impaired by wounds!
The Blood Master sees PILARA being eyed by the buzzards, but has seen the sight too often to care
PILARA strikes quickly with her short sword
PILARA tries to slash OAK's left shoulder
The strike merely grazes the defender
The referee says 'Me plant you in rock garden!'
OAK initiates an assault with his halberd
OAK attempts to impale PILARA's left arm
The strike creates a gruesome wound!
PILARA walks right past the training hall, and heads for warrior heaven.
OAK wins!!

GRYPOSAURUS risks a clumsy blow, which misses
UH OH moves purposefully toward the muscular GRYPOSAURUS
UH OH is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his full plate
UH OH fails to connect with a poorly aimed attack
UH OH collides with the ref, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!

SESAMA defends herself, looking to make an overtaxed casualty of her opponent.
SESAMA swings swiftly boar spear promising destruction
SESAMA swings overzealously and misses
SESAMA trips on the ref's lunch, and flounders about randomly, dropping her guard!

KOMODORIN steps in for a quick blow at KERBOGA
KOMODORIN strikes, but can't land the blow
KOMODORIN collides with the ref, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!
KERBOGA lunges quickly
KOMODORIN bounds several yards away!
A spectator calls out, 'Hey elf! Take a swing at the ref!'

BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN moves left
BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN defends himself, guessing that fatigue will bring down his opponent.
BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN strikes out at HEART ATTACK
BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his chain
BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN swings for the sky
BRUDZINSKI'S SIGN sets a foot into an empty skull, and flounders about randomly, dropping his guard!

---

Empty skull? Ooooh! Fun!

AYRAO BIX strikes swiftly at JOE AGUIRRE
AYRAO BIX attacks an imaginary foe
AYRAO BIX sets a foot into an empty skull, but hopes to do better next time
The crowd is shouting 'Die die die!'

BANAIN O'BOYO attacks with his battle flail
BANAIN O'BOYO is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his scale
BANAIN O'BOYO flails at the air
BANAIN O'BOYO sets a foot into an empty skull, while blinded by a glint of steel!
The referee gruffly says 'You look done--hit by sun?'

TATTIE SCONE violently attacks with his war hammer
TATTIE SCONE fails to connect
TATTIE SCONE violently thrusts forward war hammer feverish with violence
TATTIE SCONE's attack is intercepted by the ground
TATTIE SCONE leaps in toward the muscular ZENGI
TATTIE SCONE nearly trips, ruining a good strike
TATTIE SCONE sets a foot into an empty skull, and invents a new dance!

The referee gruffly says 'Make me smile, die on rock pile!'
SQUELCH circles around an old grave
SQUELCH defends himself, looking to make an overtaxed casualty of his opponent.
SQUELCH seeks to destroy HERRICANE FLO
SQUELCH misplaces a shot
SQUELCH sets a foot into an empty skull, and the ref looks angry!

RASPUTIN launches toward CEREBRAL PALSY
RASPUTIN risks a clumsy blow, which misses
RASPUTIN whips up a sandstorm with his battle axe
RASPUTIN launches an attack at the sands
RASPUTIN sets a foot into an empty skull, missing an opportunity to strike

STICKLER launches an assault wave against the formidable PEACHY
STICKLER barely misses
STICKLER sets a foot into an empty skull, for no apparent reason

---

No apparent reason, you say...

THWACK shifts expectantly to one side
THWACK charges BOUBA 4 with his boar spear!
THWACK misses like a bozo
THWACK acts like a blithering bovine, for no apparent reason

SICISTA PRIMUS darts forward then back, testing his foe!
SICISTA PRIMUS leads the cavalry against the powerful BALIN
SICISTA PRIMUS fails to score a hit
SICISTA PRIMUS shrewdly slips on a rotten cabbage, for no apparent reason

---

Of cabbages and bovines!

KAPOSIS SARCOMA darts forward then back, testing his foe!
KAPOSIS SARCOMA directs an attack toward UNE FRAISE
KAPOSIS SARCOMA is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his leather
KAPOSIS SARCOMA fails to land a difficult shot
KAPOSIS SARCOMA shrewdly slips on a rotten cabbage, amusing the children

The referee says 'Don't back into ref, me also great chef!'
REGINA violently attacks with her morningstar
REGINA misses, forgetting which way is up
REGINA shrewdly slips on a rotten cabbage, conjuring up new heights in ineptitude!

JUDGE gambles on a desperate blow halberd reflecting an eerie light
JUDGE misses like a bozo
JUDGE shrewdly slips on a rotten cabbage, thoroughly avoiding an opening to bring pain

SPEARLING spies an opening, and attacks the stable JACK TWIST
SPEARLING is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his cuir boulli
SPEARLING swings for the sky
SPEARLING acts like a blithering bovine, clumsily missing an opportunity to bring pain

LAWSUIT initiates harmful action upon GLADIATORE POPULO IV
LAWSUIT whispers a blow past the enemy
LAWSUIT acts like a blithering bovine, blowing a good opportunity to bring pain

Try not to fumble around a fast elf:
FRAU BLUCHER performs what looks like a lunge
FRAU BLUCHER strikes out randomly, missing
FRAU BLUCHER acts like a blithering bovine, thoroughly avoiding an opening to strike
LOPHOMASTIX steals the initiative from FRAU BLUCHER!
LOPHOMASTIX darts forward then back, testing his foe!
LOPHOMASTIX aims a swift strike javelin gliding toward its target
LOPHOMASTIX assaults FRAU BLUCHER's collar bone
LOPHOMASTIX guides the aimed attack and hits!
LOPHOMASTIX has landed a potentially critical blow!
LOPHOMASTIX's blow avoids FRAU BLUCHER's steel cap!
Mangled flesh is the result of the blow!
FRAU BLUCHER's head seems clouded in pain!
FRAU BLUCHER has been permanently injured in the head!!!
FRAU BLUCHER's eyes cross with pain!
LOPHOMASTIX says 'HOW VERY DARE YOU CONFUSE ME FOR A BLEPHARIPODA!'

ANEMIC bursts forth javelin sweeping toward its target
ANEMIC barely misses
ANEMIC acts like a blithering bovine, while blinded by a glint of steel!

AYLA moves aside
AYLA whips up a sandstorm with her boar spear
AYLA is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing her cuir boulli
AYLA fails to hit
AYLA acts like a blithering bovine, while staring at a pretty goblin

---

Pretty goblin? Moar!

RANCID RON says 'SCORE ONE FOR THE COMMON MAN.'
Some Bozo shouts out 'Go RANCID RON!'
RANCID RON charges YFFRIL with his trident!
RANCID RON swings far too widely
RANCID RON sets foot in the Lions' cage, while staring at a pretty goblin

---

Pretty pretty kitties.

THE CHEF anxiously awaits his anticipated opening
THE CHEF directs an attack toward the ordinary WHIMSICAL WILSON
THE CHEF strikes out dubiously, failing to score a hit
THE CHEF sets foot in the Lions' cage, drawing a baleful glare from the ref!

KAPOSIS SARCOMA says 'YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ME'
KAPOSIS SARCOMA lunges uncertainly
KAPOSIS SARCOMA strikes clumsily outward and misses
KAPOSIS SARCOMA sets foot in the Lions' cage, conjuring up new heights in ineptitude!
A spectator calls out, 'Shave your feet, shorty!'

MINUTE 7
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII defends himself, guessing that fatigue will bring down his opponent.
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII seeks to take vengeance upon RIBEYE
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII misses
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII sets foot in the Lions' cage, and throws his weapon to the winds!
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII switches his target shield to his primary hand
The referee grunts and says 'Hold your clay, make dummy pay!'

(Minute 7! Eeeesh! Boooooring fight with an unsurprising ending)

MINUTE 10
The ref launches an obelisk toward GLADIATOREPOPULO VII and it hits with a thunderclap!
GLADIATOREPOPULO VII appeals to the Blood Master for mercy!
The Blood Master rescues the undone GLADIATOREPOPULO VII!
RIBEYE disarms the fallen warrior, and leaves the Pit!

The referee grunts and says 'Hit the bum with big stone thumb!'
LADY ALUSTRIEL darts forward then back, testing her foe!
LADY ALUSTRIEL swings swiftly with her longsword
LADY ALUSTRIEL swings far too widely
LADY ALUSTRIEL sets foot in the Lions' cage, as the result of a poor strategy
---

That's a lot of fumbles!

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Aug 31, 2014 12:32 am

So much gladiator fail:

RIGA makes threatening motions at the muscular FROST
RIGA misses widely
RIGA tries to do too much, conjuring up new heights in ineptitude!

TROODON anxiously awaits his chance to make a deadly strike
TROODON seeks to destroy SKULLY
TROODON takes out vengeance upon the sands
TROODON displays glacier-like reflexes, conjuring up new heights in ineptitude!

TEABAGGER strikes swiftly at the swift UFOH
TEABAGGER strikes out randomly, missing badly
TEABAGGER displays glacier-like reflexes, and the ref grumbles loudly

BARCLAY STEENIE swings swiftly francisca blazing a deadly path
BARCLAY STEENIE is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his leather
BARCLAY STEENIE accomplishes a near-miss with a clumsy attack
BARCLAY STEENIE displays glacier-like reflexes, bringing shame to other team members

MINUTE 3
STARSCREAM wants to take a little nap
MELVIN THE MEDICATOR moves reluctantly forward
MELVIN THE MEDICATOR violently thrusts forward with his great axe
MELVIN THE MEDICATOR misses with a poorly planned attack
MELVIN THE MEDICATOR displays seacow-like reflexes, bringing shame to other team members

PARTHENON PETE shifts expectantly to one side
PARTHENON PETE gambles on a desperate blow with his war hammer
PARTHENON PETE's foe proves too difficult to hit
PARTHENON PETE misgoverns a swift strike, bringing shame to other team members
JANUARY'S VOID initiates an assault with his stiletto
PARTHENON PETE stumbles back out of harm's way
The referee grumbles and says 'Sit on rock, bone-head schlock!'

BUDDAH THE THIRD anxiously awaits his anticipated opening
BUDDAH THE THIRD intends bodily harm to RATCHET
BUDDAH THE THIRD makes an error in judgement and misses
BUDDAH THE THIRD almost flings a weapon windward, bringing shame to other team members
The referee gruffly says 'Don't trip on bone!'

THOR spies an opening, and attacks SCIPIONYX
THOR is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his brigandine
THOR swings vaguely toward the enemy
THOR ineptly fumbles, bringing shame to other team members
The referee grunts and says 'What was that, grandma's hat?'

BOOA attempts to surrender!
The ref gruffly says, 'You be dead, melon-head'
SUN BEAR warily watches the enemy
SUN BEAR attacks fiercely with her morningstar
SUN BEAR falters in execution, failing to hit
SUN BEAR almost flings a weapon windward, missing a perfect opportunity to attack

BANG! says 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!'
BANG! swiftly engages CLEANING LADY
BANG!'s efforts are wasted
BANG! almost flings a weapon windward, in an unbusinesslike fashion

CHANCROID makes an erratic attack that fails to impact
MOJO JR. surges forward with his short sword
MOJO JR. strikes out, but fails to hit
MOJO JR. almost flings a weapon windward, dropping his weapon in the dirt!

VOID robs an attack opportunity from OLD NAPOLEON!
VOID charges OLD NAPOLEON with his pole axe!
VOID misses, forgetting which way is up
VOID almost flings a weapon windward, pitching his weapon on the ground!
VOID switches his backup pole axe to his primary hand!
OLD NAPOLEON engages the enemy with his quarterstaff
OLD NAPOLEON tries to sweep VOID off his feet with his quarterstaff
VOID hits the sand like a ton of bricks!!
VOID's primary leg is going stiff with the pain of an old injury
VOID leaps up from the ground and nearly falls forward

WHIMSICAL WILSON violently attacks short sword blazing a deadly path
WHIMSICAL WILSON takes out vengeance upon the sands
WHIMSICAL WILSON dazzles the crowd with stupidity, pitching his weapon at the ref!
OUI-OUI CRAQUE ENFIN says 'OUI-OUI !'

CHICKEN HUNTING moves in on SUTEK THE DESTROYER
CHICKEN HUNTING accomplishes a near-miss with a clumsy attack
CHICKEN HUNTING flails spastically, pitching his weapon into the stands!

DRAGO BLOODBEARD gives some strategic ground
DRAGO BLOODBEARD anxiously awaits his chance to land a decisive blow
DRAGO BLOODBEARD strikes deviously outward with his hammer
DRAGO BLOODBEARD strikes out dubiously, failing to score a hit
DRAGO BLOODBEARD slips in a pool of blood, pitching his weapon in the dirt!
DRAGO BLOODBEARD switches his backup hammer to his primary hand!

LADY XAN executes a downward strike broadsword blazing a path of destruction
LADY XAN is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his cuir boulli
LADY XAN swings for the sky
LADY XAN slips in a pool of blood, crashing hopelessly onto his face!
LADY XAN seizes an opportunity to stand
SATYRITES REYNESII steps in for a quick blow at LADY XAN
LADY XAN haphazardly deflects the strike
The referee gruffly says 'Bones not tough enough!'

XEROSIS initiates harmful action upon the ordinary IDAHO TOILET GOBLIN
XEROSIS perplexes the crowd with a wildly inaccurate strike
XEROSIS slips in a pool of blood, prudently dropping his guard!

RHONDA ROADKILL engages the enemy war hammer dancing in wild patterns
RHONDA ROADKILL's attack is intercepted by the ground
RHONDA ROADKILL dazzles the crowd with stupidity, flinging her weapon into the stands!
JOYOUS's efforts are resulting in exhaustion

The referee grunts and says 'Want prize? Smack between the eyes!'
HOWLING MANSLAYER shifts expectantly to one side
HOWLING MANSLAYER swiftly engages JEEBUS IS MY COPILOT
HOWLING MANSLAYER is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his full plate
HOWLING MANSLAYER makes an error in judgement and misses
HOWLING MANSLAYER discards all grace, and heaves his shield into the stands!
HOWLING MANSLAYER switches his backup tower shield to his primary hand!
Someone in the crowd yells, 'The shorty wants a little off the top!'

SINUSITIS looks for an opening
SINUSITIS steps threateningly close to MUDSTONE
SINUSITIS strikes, but can't land the blow
SINUSITIS slips on a broken shield, and throws his weapon into the stands!
SINUSITIS switches his backup mace to his primary hand!
SPHINCTEROPLASTY waltzes toward the mighty FELDSPAR
FELDSPAR's target shield is hit by a mighty shot from below
SPHINCTEROPLASTY's pole axe is knocked from her grasp!

PORRIA steps in for a quick blow at GRIPPY
PORRIA makes an erratic attack that fails to impact
PORRIA slips on a broken shield, clumsily missing an opportunity to bring pain

YFFRIL swings around and attacks with her broadsword
YFFRIL misplaces a powerful blow
YFFRIL slips on a broken shield, drawing a baleful glare from the ref!

MINUTE 3
NIT WHIT says 'RATTLE-N-ROLL'
NIT WHIT makes a daring move flail reflecting an eerie light
MYELOFIBROSIS clumsily deflects the strike
NIT WHIT watches for weaknesses
NIT WHIT leaps in viciously flail sweeping toward its target
NIT WHIT accomplishes a near-miss with a clumsy attack
NIT WHIT slips on a broken shield, creating a divot with his face!
* MYELOFIBROSIS switches to strategy 1

MINUTE 4
(yeah, that was a whole minute up there... talk about a boring fight!)

---

Whew!

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Validian on Tue Oct 07, 2014 7:12 am

HYATT boggles the crowd with an ox-like swing, creating a divot with her butt!

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Dec 21, 2014 4:02 am

Thank you Palor for sharing this gem:

ASHKAZ quickly balances his boar spear and throws!
ASHKAZ's boar spear murders a dozing bystander!
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Oh dear, Maybe Decoy is not for him!

Post  Cam_ on Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:01 am

PRIMUS PILUS prepares for action
PRIMUS PILUS's short sword furiously engages HINDEMITH's javelin!
PRIMUS PILUS makes swift use of his short sword!
PRIMUS PILUS crashes into the arena's wall!
PRIMUS PILUS shrewdly slips on a rotten cabbage, and hits the ground with his face!

He would be better picking up the cabbage and using it as a weapon!
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Validian on Fri Feb 06, 2015 10:42 am

AXL trips on the wind, momentarily frightening away the buzzards!

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Cam_ on Sun Feb 15, 2015 7:33 am

Validian wrote:AXL trips on the wind, momentarily frightening away the buzzards!

Hahahaha, you hate to see one of your stable being such a dumpling but it always makes you smile! Very Happy
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Mar 08, 2015 1:31 am

BLACK TOOTH GRIN shrieks with insane fury, wielding his military pick
BLACK TOOTH GRIN misplaces a shot
BLACK TOOTH GRIN is blinded by dust, drawing a baleful glare from the ref!

Another for the vaults from PALOR.

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Validian on Fri May 08, 2015 11:41 am

RASPUTIN expertly imitates a plague-ridden monkey, omitting any evidence of competence

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Thu May 28, 2015 5:28 pm

I meant to post this earlier. Welcome to the monsters, SPLINTER!!!

MINUTE 1
A raven is seen as the fight commences
MOTHER RUSSIA says 'MOTHER RUSSIA PRIDE OF THE CZAR'
* MOTHER RUSSIA switches to strategy 5
* RATCHET switches to strategy 6
MOTHER RUSSIA quickly balances her boar spear and throws!
MOTHER RUSSIA's boar spear sails into the Monster's cage - and a scream is heard!
MOTHER RUSSIA switches her backup boar spear to her primary hand!
---

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:25 am

Validian... can you post LUMBERING JACK's fight from turn 786? I'm wondering how a gladiator's opponent can die in the second minute and he not be awarded a kill? I figured it might belong in the "what a fumble" section. lol

Thanks!

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Dux Mortalitas on Sun Jun 07, 2015 1:23 pm

Vic Vegas wrote:Validian... can you post LUMBERING JACK's fight from turn 786?  I'm wondering how a gladiator's opponent can die in the second minute and he not be awarded a kill?  I figured it might belong in the "what a fumble" section.  lol

Thanks!

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The Ref (VETERAN'S BLADE) ROCKY (605) (12-9-1)
Strange! The newsletter says that it was the Ref that killed him.

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Jun 07, 2015 3:41 pm

Dux Mortalitas wrote:
The Ref (VETERAN'S BLADE)                    ROCKY (605) (12-9-1)
Strange! The newsletter says that it was the Ref that killed him.

Oh yeah, I forgot to look at the bottom of the newsletter. So strange the ref getting involved so early.

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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

Post  Vic Vegas on Sun Jun 21, 2015 3:38 am

The referee gruffly says 'Me make sand-wich out of you'
CAPTAIN DUEDERMONT 4 moves in on BLACAYA
BLACAYA stumbles out of the way
BLACAYA creates a whirling motion with her pole axe
BLACAYA narrowly misses
BLACAYA catches a whiff of the ref's lunch, and falls flat on her face!
BLACAYA stands up
BLACAYA takes a strategic step backward
BLACAYA whirls counterclockwise, and strikes at the agile CAPTAIN DUEDERMONT 4
CAPTAIN DUEDERMONT 4 parries and nearly falls over
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Re: What a Fumble!!!!

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