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Volume 1, Issue 26 - Turn 374

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Volume 1, Issue 26 - Turn 374

Post  lord_dragon on Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:12 pm

Welcome once again to another spectacular issue of the Pit Gazette. This is no ordinary issue, though. With Issue 26 under our belt, we are now exactly half way through the intended run of the Gazette. This is cause to celebrate, is it not! We have now covered the comings and goings of the Veteran's Blade arena for a half a year on the nose, and we feel (and we hope our fans do as well) that our coverage continues to get better and better.

This issue brings us to our fourth installment (counting Ilneval's Fab Five interview) of our latest and greatest feature, the Manager Spotlight, this turn being shown on a real prince of darkness, Sanguine Savior, now of the newly formed super-alliance, the Council of the Cauldron. As always, we are proud to bring you Raul's twisted take on the ways and means of our arenas alliances (including, of course, further coverage of the CotC) and all the other features you have come to expect out of our newsrag.

Lights. Camera. ACTION!

Sanguine Savior simply is. Nemesis of the living. Sanguine's kill percentage is mere points ahead of Valcor Aurthor (4.33% v. 4.27%) among active managers with more than 200 kills, but outstrips everyone else by a decent margin. His warriors are thus a menace to most, though Dux Mortalitas has always seemed to have their number. Sanguine can lay claim to now-deceased top Half Orc killer Thingmaker. He also currently owns the 15th best warrior in the entire arena by ranking. At some threat to our own person, The Gazetteer sat down with Sanguine this week to get the scoop on what makes him tick.

The Gazetteer: What brought you to Veteran's Blade? Have you ever entered warriors into other Pit arenas? How about the Sanctioned Combat which takes place far to the East in the lands of Delarq Tor, Andoria, Free Blades and Lirith Kai?
Sanguine Savior: I played in the Freeblades arenas for many years. Too many accountants there for my tastes. The Kingdom of Moridia also plays host to the best I have to offer.

The Gazetteer: No comment as to what has afflicted you upon the fine drinking establishments of this particular city?
Sanguine Savior: I'm going to be "afflicted" upon any drinking establishment in any city because beer is tasty. This just happens to be where I am at now.

The Gazetteer: Your appearance is rather striking. I'm willing to wager there is a pretty interesting story behind that...and that smell.
Sanguine Savior: Oh, you mean the fact that I'm a 2,000 year old corpse? Is that what you are driving at Captain Obvious?

The Gazetteer: Perhaps. It seems obvious that your overarching goal is to be the manager of the most prolific killers this city has ever known. Tell us something we might NOT know about the enigmatic Sanguine Savior.
Sanguine Savior: I drink. A lot. That and I like Hotot Rabbits. They're cute.

The Gazetteer: Dux Mortalitas has killed a number of your top warriors. Do you ever envision being able to turn the tables (aside from sending assassins to kill him in his sleep, of course)?
Sanguine Savior: Well I did burn down his bar a while back. Did I just say that out loud? Do Morelolitas is highly adept at killing my warriors, however, I think the award still goes to Lord Kelvin. Dux often makes it a goal, Kelvy just random matches me and my guys drop.

The Gazetteer: Lord Kelvin seems to feel the same way about your warriors. Any comment?
Sanguine Savior: It's really just insane how often we kill eachothers warriors. Amazingly, it's always good warriors that get buried. I mean, why can't he kill off some one like Sire Marshal Feront?

The Gazetteer: Mystical Charade is your only 100+ warrior at this time, but he's approaching the coveted 100 Win Club. Tell us about him.
Sanguine Savior: Misty is a turd. He can only beat two guys in his range. So unless he matches with those two consistently over the next 20 turns or so, he'll most likely get 100 losses before wins. Maybe I'll threaten him with a trip to the monsters... it's worked for other guys in the past.

The Gazetteer: Happy Time Harry and Horror-Teria look like your next two future super veterans. Are they your patented Half-Orc package or something different?
Sanguine Savior: They're both patented Sang HOs, but they are complete opposites. I cloned DNA from the gretest killer I have ever made (Wad L. Spewingsworth) to make Teria. He's old school in the Disposable Teen and Hot Carl vein. Harry was completely different than anything I'd ever seen. I've since cloned him a couple times as well.

The Gazetteer: What's up with Sire Marshal Feront?
Sanguine Savior: He's a Halfling. I hate them, but I have to employ one due to pressure from PUD (Preservation of Undersized Dudes).

The Gazetteer: You have a whole load of warriors approaching or just across the 50 Fight mark. Which of these should the fans be watching more closely? Any surprises in this group?
Sanguine Savior: Bender B. Rodriguiez. I forgot about that guy until Sleazee pointed out that he had gone 23-4-2 in the past 27 turns. The real surprises will come from my under ten fight guys.

The Gazetteer: How does Burn in Hell have 7 kills already?
Sanguine Savior: He hits people with his morningstar until they die.

The Gazetteer: How quaint! Is Happy Time Harry a threat to surpass Thingmaker's Half-Orc Kill Record?
Sanguine Savior: I hope not. BCs can really hurt.

The Gazetteer: Among your warriors, who is exceeding expectations? Who has not performed as well as you might have thought and why?
Sanguine Savior: Obviously Burn in Hell and Bender are exceeding. Same with Teria. I don't have enough time to go into all the underachievers I have, most notably Scabbed Winged Angel and RawHead Rex are certainly not living up to their potential.

The Gazetteer: Monstering warriors seems to be one of your favorite past-times. What are you looking for in candidates for the games?
Sanguine Savior: Ugly. Dislikable. Without grace.

The Gazetteer: We'd be remiss if we did not ask about the recent controversies around BCs and challenges that you have been a part of. Tell us why what Poppa Balrog did is wrong, in your mind.
Sanguine Savior: I've said my piece and made my feelings very clear in the past.

The Gazetteer: Tell us why it is you feel that a warrior like Thingmaker should be wielded against any opponent, no matter how inexperienced.
Sanguine Savior: Tell me why you think I shouldn't? Seriously, all you tree-hugging [expletive excised] grind my gears.

The Gazetteer: This publication doesn't think you shouldn't be able to. People do love to complain about BCs and challenges despite that, though.
Sanguine Savior: BCs are interseting in how people choose to respond to them. Most people make a bigger deal outta them if they are sure they can win. I mean, what's stopping real pussies from avenging a death? See... watch... (Editor's Note: At this point Sanguine got up from his table, drew a small blade from his belt and eviscerated one of our junior editors. He then removed the young Elf's pancreas, placed it on a plate and took occasional bites from it throughout the rest of the interview]. Now see... are you gonna come after me for that? I think not.

[Long Silence]

Sanguine Savior: Oh that was rude of me, would you like a bite?

The Gazetteer: I'm going to have to invoice you for the rug you just ruined. Very dramatic. Anyway, whose warriors do you love to face?
Sanguine Savior: I like fighting Ceasar's guys, 'cause they are great fights. He tends to open up a six pack of whoop butt on me, but again they are fun to watch. I also like fighting Frank's guys 'cause my kill percentage tends to rise.

The Gazetteer: Whose warriors do you hate to see come out of the tunnel against yours?
Sanguine Savior: Caesar and Kelvin. I know Misty pees a little every time Popper pops outta the tunnel.

The Gazetteer: Half-Orcs. Great race? Or Greatest Race?
Sanguine Savior: They're pretty good. I should hire some more. What kinda dumb butt question is that?

The Gazetteer: Tell me why Halflings are the worst thing to ever happen to Pit combat.
Sanguine Savior: Great, the parade of idiotic questions continue. They smell, they're stupid and they're all worthless and weak.

The Gazetteer: Only one Half-Elf and one Elf on your rosters as well. What's up with that?
Sanguine Savior: Hey it's a trifecta! Learn to count, I have two Half-Elves. The reason I don't hire more is because I like my warriors to kill their opponents. Half-Elves and Elves are just behind Halflings at being grossly inept at doing so. Sure there are stand-outs in all those races, but I like my results immediate. Generally when those types apply I just gut them and feed 'em to my Orcs.

The Gazetteer: Tasty. So, fighting styles. Favorites and least favorites?
Sanguine Savior: TK, Lunge, Bash, Slash, Wall of Steel and Calc. I like the offensive styles and I like to put a little turbo in the engine. Don't think I've ever used Parry, Defend, or Sure Strike.

The Gazetteer: Is the Bladed Flail on the comeback trail? Aside from flails, name your favorite weapon family.
Sanguine Savior: I use BF... I mean bladed flail (I should probably say the whole word to avoid any embarrassing mis-quotes)... because I know what physical attributes it requires. Same with morningstar. I'm lazy.

The Gazetteer: Lord Kelvin, our last interviewee, mentioned you as someone he has learned a great deal from. Who's on your list of managers that have taught you something about this game?
Sanguine Savior: Dux, Sleazee and Palor.

The Gazetteer: What's the best tavern in the city for a tall cask of Ale (or four)?
Sanguine Savior: I've already built my own. It's called Sang's Slaughterhaus. We only serve Natural Lite and play metal.

The Gazetteer: So, is Death In Effect over and dead? Tell us why you've joined this new super-alliance.
Sanguine Savior: Nev and I talked about it. There will always be a D.I.E. It's a faction of the Cauldron.

The Gazetteer: How will that work in practice? Will there be a STUD faction too?
Sanguine Savior: Dunno about STUD but Nev and I are keeping D.I.E. because of what it represents... killing. We'll be there when some one needs to be killed without inviting the hoopla of an all out war.

The Gazetteer: Are you ready for an Alliance war to end all wars?
Sanguine Savior: Do bugbears poop in the woods? No, really. I'm curious.

The Gazetteer: Never seen one personally. Is GAPPDA first up or LoD?
Sanguine Savior: Just depends on particular situations. As of now I don't believe there iss any kind of agenda to target any alliance. But if there was... the aforementioned would be first.

The Gazetteer: How happy were you to see Pitt die?
Sanguine Savior: Sad actually. I wanted to be the one to kill him.

The Gazetteer: Name the top 5 managers in Blood Pit at this very time, in no particular order.
Sanguine Savior: We have a newsletter that does that. That is not my responsibility.

The Gazetteer: You have no opinion? Or you don't wish to share your opinion?
Sanguine Savior: I feel it is stupid to say these five guys are great, when clearly they are not the greatest by official rankings. That's just opinion and favortism. I think I am the greatest, but that is obviously not the case.

The Gazetteer: What advice would you give to new managers joining our arena today?
Sanguine Savior: Well, if they are really "new" managers all I can say is, don't get frustrated. I'm going to kill a few of your guys. It's as natural as rain on a gosh darn Sunday morning.

The Gazetteer: Do you have any suspicions you would like to share on old managers wearing new clothes?
Sanguine Savior: Not at the moment. The Cauldron will make the move when we feel it necessary.

The Gazetteer: Thank you for sitting down with us!
Sanguine Savior: Get outta my sight!

Our reporters here at the Gazette have seen very few expressions on the enigmatic manager Chaos Lillith's face. She seldom exhibits behaviors more wide-ranging than what we would describe as arrogant cruelty seasoned with a touch of greed. However as she observed the first fight of her new warrior Quara of the Staff, the disdain on her face slipped first into incredulousness, followed quickly by a cold calculation as she no doubt added together the profit she made off wagers.

Quara of the Staff, an ordinary, even slightly weak-looking halfling killed the Half-Orc Thrull using that most cliche of weapons, of course, a quarterstaff. The fight lasted a mind-numbing 8 minutes and in the end Quara walks away with a 1-0-1 record. The crowd, expecting to partake in Halfling Paste™, were stunned into silence. Even the drummer lost control of his sticks as Thrull crumbled to the ground and Sal the Streetsweeper was so surprised he forgot to complain about the mess.

I elbowed my way over to Chaos Lillith to get a response (hoping not to end up stabbed in the attempt). I didn't so much get a chance to ask a question but did overhear her conversing with Zeus and Thanatos, two of her oldest warriors.

"You know," she said, "I bought her because she is small and so average-looking, I assumed she'd be great for some of the side businesses, but this was unexpected. I hope we did the usual and placed at least 2 or 3 bets on her. "

"Of course, milady," Zeus rumbled.

"Good. The profits off this little fight will go a long way to attracting better talent. Meanwhile, let's get this one into real training. No sense in wasting good talent. Of course, if this was only a lucky win for her, well, we can return to Plan A."

At that point I was noticed by the lurking Thanatos so I beat a hasty retreat into the crowd.

So managers out there, don't assume a mediocore warrior will be useless, they may surprise you. That's all from this investigative reporter for this edition of the Gazette.

Sometimes, my friends, I wonder if the life of an adventurous journalist such as myself, Raul Anjinarikar Siv, is one that is taken for granted, like that of the bartender or the late night shift law officer. I spend my days like my nights, carousing - but that is not the point, for at least ten to twelve minutes a week I give you friends the magnified insight of my mind into the land of alliances.

And be thankful that my skills are at your service, for the sleeper has awakened, the dragon has been unleashed. That’s right, the world of alliances has forever changed with the dissolving of three alliances and the assembling of one massive, gigantism-afflicted alliance that is larger than an elephant in the summer months. The whispered rumors were true, and the GATE has opened.

Was my constant ribbing on being an army of one too much for Sleazee? Or perhaps I kept pointing out the vast numbers of the Lords of Darkness, even while they were dwindling in truth? Or could it even have been the interview with Ilneval a few weeks ago offended him beyond the pale? Either way GATE has made its entrance, friends. Or, as they call themselves, the Council of the Cauldron, which if I made into an acronym might be mistaken for a male chicken. See-Oooooh-Tee-See is how it would be pronounced, so get your minds out of the gutter. You block my snorkel from there.

Yes friends, not one, not two, not even three, but fourteen members compose the Council. Now, this may pose a problem to those who are unable to count on both hands and feet, so I will sum up by saying it is more than a Baker’s Dozen but less than what you can spend on what passes for ale here in an evening without vomiting after consumption. Together this alliance holds twenty-nine of the top 100 warriors. Hundreds of targets, er, warriors. Truly impressive, the Padishah will certainly consider his bets the next time Undefeated Warrior rolls around. He loves the good odds, that man!

And with the birth of this massive fourteen pound child from the womb of the Veteran’s Blade so heralds the death of two alliance mothers and the crippling of a third. STUD, DIE, and a third of the Facilitator of the Fatalities have become one with CotC. I am sad to see DIE pass into history, but surely they will have a larger vocabulary to draw on for my interviews. And STUD was so much fun to poke at with the verbal sticks. But I’m sure I can find more than a few things going forward to talk about with this new entity. One cannot have such a large membership without some skeletons falling out of the closet. Oh and the drama. Yes there must be drama.

But what of the other alliances? How has the map changed, so to speak? GAPPDA, NBS, and LoD remain organized and dangerous, but are now outnumbered nearly three to one apiece. Even if they combined their forces into some strange three-backed funnel cake of multi-flavored putridity, they would be vastly outnumbered in the upper ranks. And the FoF is still high in it’s membership drive, with Chaos Lillith looking for a few good men, women, or gender ‘other’ to bring the alliance back to life. If there was ever a time to wake up and smell the hummus, it is now. Raul will inquire dear friends to what the other alliances think of this recent event, but not this week as my meager budget does not allow for more than two paid for meals, including myself, and I cannot afford the places at which we dine on my small salary.

Well, friends our time here is at an end. The breaking news has spent my resources and my energy. And my ink runs dry. Until next time, Salaam and Good Hunting.

A partner-less Hobbes, as noted in last turn's Gazette, prepared for his 100th Fight in solitude this week and then, possibly due to a lack of inspiration, promptly mailed in his 46th loss in a 2 minute match against Chen Man Ching's younger Plunder Cat, an up-and-comer among the Dwarven crowd. Still, we congratulate Hobbes for achieving 100 Fights in this very deadly arena, and we hope that he fights on longer than his last two stablemates to cross 100 Fights, Chutzpah and Seraphim, managed to.

The Gazette is pleased, for the first occasion since we began publication, to be able to single out Davron in this space. Its been a long ride for HA2 as Davron's lone 100+ warrior since Stinger died at Sleazee P. Martinee's hands, but next turn the aged Half-Orc will be joined by Lemur, a Dwarf. What's that you say? A Dwarf in Davron's stables? We know, the staff here at the Gazetter were shocked too.

Also stepping on the sands for their 100th turn this coming week will be Nads' Human, Elf of the Year. We at the Gazette wonder how much alcohol and make up were involved in that unfortunate naming decision. We imagine it would make quite the episode of Three's Company (now being performed weekly by the Traveling Furleys at Dux's Tavern).

Good luck to both warriors in Turn 375.

Though one might seek to blame it on the Gazette Cover Curse, our staff here feels that the passing of Mantronic, a superior warriors with 116 fights beneath his belt, can hardly be blamed on an interview that occurred several months ago.

That's our story, anyway, and we're sticking to it.

Sadly, Ilneval's top Dwarf did succumb this turn, the only warrior with more than 100 Fights under his belt to do so and the third of Ilneval's Fab Five to succumb since Turn 365's infamous interview.

That said, though Turn 374 was, as recent turns have been, relatively light on death and destruction, the death toll was somewhat abnormal. Half of those killed in singles fights this turn perished as the result of challenges, including two of three warriors this turn who died exactly on their 50th fight

And the killer of 80 Win Mantronic? Why none other than new Alliance mate Sore Rod, a Half Orc managed by Hosehead who he was unfortunate enough to draw in a singles match scheduled solely by the Competition Committee.

Like the fans, Ilneval was stunned at how the fight ended, but stopped for comment after the fight anyway. "Congrats to Hosehead and his fine warrior Sore Rod on a well fought match. Sore Rod managed to relieve Mantronic of all his weapons and in the end it was a case of broken hands from parrying that did him in. Given the lack of perms he had I really thought he would have a long glorious career. If he had to die, then I am pleased that he was done in by a fellow member of the Council and not by someone else."

We salute you, Mantronic. The Gazette staff hopes for continued long life for the now Terrific Two, Eternal Darkness and DT Jesus.

GAPPDA manager Xavier was both on the giving and receiving end of veteran deaths by challenge this turn, which should come as no surprise for anyone who has noted his proclivity for a good (often down) challenge.

The circumstances around Xavier's challenge kill was oddly fitting, as his own oldest warrior Xander the Wanderer was sent against and took apart The Derelict's oldest living warrior, Hobo Joe in a brisk, 2 minute match that had Arena officials checking to ensure that Xander had not corked his Epee before the fight.

Xavier barreled forth from the manager's box after the match with a big smile and provided the following comment on the targeted, permanent dismissal of Hobo Joe. "The only thing that disgusts me more than team fighting is people who sit their team to avoid a blood challenge. Oh, I know it's legal and I'm all about abusing the rules at every turn, but its nonetheless satisfying to end the life of a warrior who pampered himself for three weeks while his team mate avoided the death mark. It gives me equal pleasure to know that minutes before he died, Hobo Joe was permed, disarmed of his three toy hatchets, and left to die empty-handed and wide-eyed as Zander's first kill."

Hobo Joe dies probably wishing his team fight companions had never left him alone, ending his life with 67 wins and a kill in 96 fights.

Elsewhere, however, all was not well for Xavier's stables, as Sleazee P. Martinee sent Celtic Frost downwards in an attempt to demolish Xavier's oldest Half-Orc, Novak the Troll. The fans in the front row got to make very good use of the tarp that was left over from the previous evening's Gallygher concert, as Novak was left broken and lifeless after a one-sided, 2 minute pounding from Sleazee's Dwarf.

Sleazee P. Martinee stopped and spoke to our reporters after the fight, commenting, ""That troll of Javier's was pretty nasty, but I figured that the Froster had what it took to dispose of him. I guess I was right!"

Novak the Troll perishes at the 92 fight mark having accumulated a very solid 63 wins and 3 kills.

The Overlord was himself involved in Dwarves both giving and taking veteran lives in qualifying singles action in Turn 364, as his own Mordin Ironbeard tore The Demon's Half-Elf Ripper limb-from-limb while alliance-mate Poeg's excellent Dwarf Utu applied some salve to the wound with a return kill on Half-Elf Solo Boy.

Ripper and Solo Boy both leave the arena complex in a permanent, supine posture having put together solid, winning records in their all-too-brief careers, with Ripper bringing in 38 wins and a kill in 66 fights and Solo Boy compiling 33 wins and a matching kill in 56 fights. We imagine both Half-Elves will be sorely missed.

The remainder of the three solo dead in Turn 374 in something of an extraordinary coincidence, were slain on their 50th fight exactly, two of them, as noted above, at the hands of dirty, dirty challengers. While Potness Monster's Eerie Von was chosen for death by older, less-competent One Hit Blunder, who is managed by Validian, Mongolian Knight's ill-named Legendary was slaughtered on the challenge by that rarest of the rare, a killer Half-Orc managed by Gouged Eye Inc., Varius. The sole singles death was that of the excrescent Tunnel Rat, managed by Eca Za and euthanized by Drakus' Half-Elf Flynn.

Remarking on One Hit Blunder's kill, Validian was surprisingly forthcoming after the turn, stating, "Some days the Pit Gods just decide you're going to lose no matter what. It usually only takes one or two hits to beat One Hit Blunder, but Eerie Von couldn't land one. By mid-minute 1 he changed to his last style, apparently "stand around bewildered", and stopped seriously trying to attack or defend. The Ref and the Blood Master let the totally one-sided fight go all the way to the bloody end."

Eerie Von and Legendary end their stays in the Veteran's Blade's with 28 and 27 wins respectively and no kills between them. Tunnel Rat's record is best left buried in a shallow grave along with the warrior (so-called) which accrued it.

Finally, it almost wouldn't be a Veteran's Blade turn lately if someone noteworthy didn't die at the hands of the Peasants (apparently they took my fairly dismissive words in a recent issue to heart and have decided to start killing scum farmers again). Frank's The Mugger follows team mate The Brute, who died last turn, into the abyss, leaving Wise Thug without a friend to cherish and hide in teams with. Such a pity.

The Mugger ends his life having stolen 33 wins in 52 turns of competition.

We raise our swords in salute to the slain and the slayers, as always.

Greetings! The will to avenge fallen teammates is sharply down this past round, as the arena saw only twenty-three qualifying conflicts. The never-ending balance between Good and Ugly continues, with the recent trends of Ugly (again) outpacing the Good.

While our list of Good looks small, it is rather substantial considering the lack of Blood Challenges this round. Leading the charge is Lord Kelvin who registered two successful BC defenses. The most impressive defense certainly belongs to Angel of Death’s SEMAPHORE who made quick work of Eca Za’s LORD SMOG, despite the 42 fight disparity.

Angel of Death’s SEMAPHORE (42)
Lord Kelvin’s TEL’MARAS (18)
Bill Taylor’s ECLIPSE (8)
Lord Kelvin’s MORTIMER (3)
Blackstorm’s BATTLKRY (3)
Bruticus’ HUNTRESS (2)

The list of Bad includes a three-turn run of futility for a handful of managers. Being first of the worst is The Badman who has registered a 25% BC winning percentage over the past three turns. Joining The Badman are Bandit at 43%, Drachir and SDan at 40% and quite surprisingly Sleazee P. Martinee at 20%. While some have fallen victim to more than one Ugly Blood Challenge to hit these percentages, the lack of success over such a span of turns could not be overlooked.

Once again our list of the Ugly represents a rather significant portion of the total BCs, checking in at slightly over 24% of the total matches for the round. Palor has pulled a considerable lead over his fellow partners in crime with two Ugly challenges totaling 192 fights of advantage that has been reaped over opponents. Palor’s misdeeds almost provided cover for Egor to slip under the radar, but the 56 total fight of disparity claimed by Egor stood out anyway, albeit to a lesser degree. It should be noted, that a small conflict could be brewing between Egor and The Badman, as both of Egor’s Ugly wins came at the expense of said bad man.

Palor's MOSS (150)
Shadow Master's JERLIN (69)
Nads' WERT (62)
Palor's LOATHING (42)
Egor's MANTIS (30)
Commandant Eitch's SERENDIPITOUS SOL (27)
SAH's ESAD (26)
Egor's SPLITTER (26)

Just another dirty turn on our sands. 'Til next week!

Our intrepid columnist who handles this section of the Gazette failed to submit his article by the time we went to print, but unwilling to disappoint our numerous fans out there (you know who you are) here is the two minutes of research, abbreviated version of the manager of the week.

The mysterious ancient Izzboticus, the sinister veteran Solincar Nelflan, and the promising upstart Drakus all led the Pit this week by turning in impressive 19-6 records, none of which were sullied by any team fighting. However, there can only be one winner and this week unquestionably the title has to go to lethal Solincar Nelflan, by virtue of his mind-numbing four kills. Congratulations Solincar, hope not to see you any time soon.

Honourable mention goes out to Hoffa who posted an outstanding 18-7 record, topped off with 3 kills, and the venerable Nemesis who also managed an 18-7 turn, but did rely on some team fighting to pad his record.

Geryon finally managed his 100th Win this turn, after bouncing in and out of activity for the last several months. Our congratulations on the achievement to the warrior and his manager, Damion.

M. Noirceur reactivated in Turn 374, but did not enter the expected Monster Fight. Luck was on his side, however, as he finally managed to take his 101st win against Poeg's Saber.

Sorah Magdar randomly faced Marius' Boing Boing this week in a great fight that ended with another victory for Sorah Magdar. Boing Boing was one of the 8 last remaining fighters in the UW tournament and is thus a heady opponent for Sorah.

"We are partying hard here tonight at Xavier's Stable, celebrating the life of a great Half-Orc. All warriors in the pit, with rare exception, leave the arena in a pine box. So we do not mourn our dead as most do, instead we celebrate their life. Novak left his mark on the arena and on many warriors, he will not be forgotten. Cheers to Celtic Frost for a kill well-earned." - Xavier

"I got to give it to Izzy. Rawg hasn't been punished like that in a very long time!" - Sleazee P. Martinee speaking on Groundhawg's defeat of Undefeated Warrior finalist Rawg Brainsplatter after the turn.

The Gazette hears that several members of GAPPDA, most notably Poppa Balrog, are open to the concept of death matches, something that few managers besides Dux Mortalitas have had any real stomach for. We even hear that Poppa Balrog would be open to, and has perhaps already extended an invitation to death matches to the usurper of long-missing Duke's stables.

That's it for this week's edition of The Gazette! If you'd like to submit items for a future edition or provide feedback and clarifications, please pm them to my account on

-The Staff at The Pitt Gazette

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