Kill Fest VI, Week 6 Results (Turn1217)

Kill Fest VI, Turn 6 Results

STALKER (13)	3
SANGUINE SAVIOR (140)	2
VIC VEGAS (341)	2
BENNY THE BLADE (1031)	2
GERN BLANSTEN (16)	1
DANNY D BLOODY(82)	1
D-MAN (124)	1
COMMANDANT EITCH (315)	1
STIMPY (355)	1
CAM (544)	1
MODOFO (783)	1
UL (801)	1
HUNTER (833)	1
PRIMUS (838)	1
THE GVNER (842)	1
THE BAD GUY (847)	1
MR ANGRY (851)	1
MUSE (884)	1
MASTER OF WAR (892)	1
SCIPLING (895)	1
RHOSGOBEL (932)	1
TORMENTED (1019)	1
FLAYED CARCASSES (1020)	1
KORTIK (1054)	1
THE EXECUTIONER (1056)	1

Another great week for Kill Fest, 30 kills! STALKER comes in and gathers three souls for the Reaper, and BENNY THE BLADE, VIC VEGAS and SANGUINE SAVIOR were close on his heels with two kills apiece.  Another twenty-one managers managed to get one kill each.  After six weeks, we are sitting at 166 kills, with CAM leading the way with 10 kills.  A few other dogs are sniffing his heels.    This one looks like it will end in two weeks.  But who knows?  Maybe someone will make a sprint for the title, some underdog who has 100:1 odds of winning.  



One Blood Challenge kill (even better, it was the challenger!), four challenge kills, five veteran deaths, and 2 team fight kills! Let's hope the next two weeks bring even more death and tears.



Our Blood Challenger is the one who bit the dust this week!  SANGUINE SAVIOR’s elf, SUSAN ST JACKALOPE of UNDER THE BLADE was blood challenged by TAKAMURA’s half elf RULER ZIGZAG ALLAH from TEAM TWO for the death of his pal.  It was over in two minutes.  RZA zigged and zagged and asked Allah for help, but in the end he was put to the blade by SUSAN and thus ended his short rule of well, not much.  So sad.  But hey, your death did bring us some enjoyment as it always does when it is the blood challenger.  



Now on to the four challenge kills.  The first one pitted VIC VEGAS’s AUTOPSY-TURVY, a dwarf from the PANHANDLERS, against CAM’s elf TARTAN from UP YER KILT.  The melee lasted a mere two minutes.  AT wanted a kill and he got one; using his trusty trident, he lifted TARTAN’s kilt and panhandled the poor elf:  TARTAN's torso is torn asunder
                           The crowd is stunned by the terrible carnage!
                             TARTAN screams a final scream!
                      AUTOPSY-TURVY bows in acceptance



Our next challenge kill was during a 3-minute duel in which the challenger, ABRAMS, one of STIMPY’s humans from JUDGES 1:19-20 died at the hands of SCIPLING’s elf HAFTHORR from THRAL & DRAGOINHEART. The only one sacrificed and violated was ABRAMS, as his heart was destroyed in this “thralling” fight.  His trainer groaned after he croaked. So sad.  Make sure to send flowers and cards to STIMPY for this fiasco.



Our third challenge death occurred during a six-minute slug fest between COMMANDANT EITCH’s half elf THE WHITE LADY of GNOME TALES who challenged and killed THE FAT’s dwarf RAGGUR ROUNDROCK of MRS KREUTZ 4th GRADE.  The whole 4th grade as well as Mrs KREUTZ showed up to watch this match.  Like an angry Karen, TWL showed she was no lady as she demolished the gnome garden of rocks and made her own tale.  Scooby Doo was in attendance and heard to say “Rha rho Raggur” as a certain Dwarf joined the gnomes in the great garden of tomb stones outside of the Pit.  Such is life for veterans of the Pit.   They almost always end up in a pine box.



Our final challenged to die was NUTSACK BUTTCRACK, TAKAMURA’s elf of DYNASTY OF THE SUN, who died rather quickly at the hands of TORMENTED’s human ONE TRICK POKED ME of LOST SOULS.  NB was indeed not part of any dynasty, and the sun did indeed set over him—forever.  OTPM was not tricked after being poked and hit a certain somebody in the sack and crack until they lost and joined the souls of the deceased gladiators of the pit.  

     

Now we get to the sad part of the turn:  the death of veterans at the hands of other veterans in random matches.  First, we get to the three-minute match between UL’s elf RHOE of SHANNARA and SANGUINE SAVIOR’s half-orc BIGGIN DUMB of CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS.  It was “rhoe’-ful indeed for the champions of BIGGIN as he proved he was not a captain after all.  Fans of BD threw their soiled underpants onto the corpse of the half-orc after he collapsed on the sands for the final time.  I wonder if those 4 permanents I gave him in a random match are what did him in? SANGUINE, let me know if I can post that fight.



Our second random death is a sad one for me.  My half-orc beast GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE from the HEAD LOPPERS died in a two-minute quickie with STALKER’s dwarf SCORPION of STALKERS VEMON. It wasn’t his head that got lopped, but a nice level 9 perm to the primary arm.  GRUG proved he was not golden, as he was stung by SCORPION’s battle axe for the final time.  OUCH!  

SCORPION gambles on a desperate blow battle axe darting like a demon
SCORPION hacks away at GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE's right shoulder
GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE struggles to avoid the blow!
SCORPION narrowly gets past GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE's defenses!
SCORPION is aiming for a weakness
  Blood gushes forth from the ghastly blow
GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE has been permanently injured in the weapon arm!!!
GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE's weapon arm explodes
Spectators grimace and look away
GRUG THE GOLDEN ONE is swept . . . permanently.
SCORPION has defeated a dangerous enemy!

 

Our third random veteran death occurred when D-MAN's elf SNOOD of BUH HADAST took on SCIPLING’s dwarf KILGORE of SWORD AND SATCHEL.  It only took two minutes but there was a kill and lots of gore, and perhaps even a sword involved in this fight.  SNOOD’s women fans threw their satchels full of letters with addresses and poems of love onto the arena floor after BH sent his dwarven foe to his ancestors.  Hopefully SNOOD will be in the mood to fight next week!

 

The fourth veteran death was a three-minute melee between THE BAD GUY’s human ADMIRAL WALTERS of THE CENARION CIRCLE and THE HIGH PRIEST’s halfling DATA of BROTHERS IN BLOOD.  The admiral circled around DATA as he collected data on the best way to finish off his halfling foe.  AW proved he was indeed a bad guy as he drained DATA of all his blood and made DATA’s brothers cry.  I do believe that even the best high priest will not be able to bring a certain halfling back to life.  Do not cry for him, as this is what happens to everyone in the Pit.  



Our final veteran death was in a three-minute match between THE GNVER’s KIRA, an elf from CERTAIN LOSERS and POPPA BALROG’s dwarf, OPRAH WINFREY of FAT DRUNK AND STUPID.  Well, like the Governer in TWD, KIRA proved that well, OW was the certain loser of this fight.  We can all cheer for the demise of one fat, drunk and stupid dwarf.  Unless of course you liked to hear the babble the OW was spewing on a daily basis.  

       
 
Now we get to the two team fights.  We have another repeat, as DANNY D BLOODY’s team RELIGIOUS HALF-ORCS! Does it again! BIGGUS DIKUS, BUDDAHMAN MAINSE, HEEBUS and GORDO, all big and buff half-orcs found themselves pitted against KOA’s NA ALI’I KAUA, comprised of well, five different races of gladiators.  It lasted four minutes, but again, the fans of DDB’s team were singing religious songs as their favorite half-orcs sent the elf LIHOLIHO to his demise. The only ones that will be relaxing this week are the members of RELIGIOUS as they bask in the glory of yet another kill.  



Our last team fight was a three-minute match between TORMENTED’s NATURAL RESOURCES, comprised of CANYON (dwarf), LEAF (elf), HUMAN CAPITOL (human), WATER (halfling) and RIVER half-elf) and THE MANIPULATOR’s MOSTLY HARMLESS, made up of two humans, NONA and SOSIAS, two half-orcs, FORD and COLENE and a half-elf JONAS TAYLOR.  JONAS TAYLOR was tormented by his foes as they manipulated him into dropping his guard and allowing them to end his life.  Unfortunately, in this fight, MANIPULATOR’s team showed they were indeed harmless and that they did not have the natural resources to win the fight.  

 

Well folks, that is it for this week! Tune in next week for hopefully even more death and destruction.



                         

Manager Name (Manager#)	Total Kills
CAM (544)	10
MASTER OF WAR (892)	7
ACRO MANTULA (1002)	6
NADS (4)	5
GERN BLANSTEN (16)	5
D-MAN (124)	5
MODOFO (783)	5
DANNY D BLOODY (82)	4
SANGUINE SAVIOR (140)	4
VIC VEGAS (341)	4
STIMPY (355)	4
UL (801)	4
CHI (828)	4
WAR DANCER (830)	4
THE GVNER (842)	4
MUSE (884)	4
ARRIAN (896)	4
LELU DALLAS (946)	4
BRINGER (1016)	4
STALKER (13)	3
POPPA BALROG (339)	3
THECOLONEL (573)	3
SODDEN ENTRAILS (641)	3
SAMURAI!!11 (813)	3
EYE OF THUNDERA (821)	3
HUNTER (833)	3
PRECISION (882)	3
PARANOID (966)	3
TORMENTED (1019)	3
COMMANDANT EITCH (315)	2
THE WARLORD (23)	2
SLIV (356)	2
DEVIL (803)	2
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF (817)	2
VENGENCE (827)	2
NATURE (848)	2
THE MANIPULATOR (850)	2
UNBALANCED (863)	2
LOOPER (886)	2
THE SICKNESS (887)	2
BENNY THE BLADE (1031)	2
PEASANT SCUM (2)	1
GOD OF ROCK (796)	1
INSANE(804)	1
THE TILLEK (818)	1
PRIMUS (838)	1
THE BAD GUY (847)	1
MR ANGRY (851)	1
THE UNSPEAKABLE ONE (852)	1
SURTUR (891)	1
FURY (894)	1
SCIPLING (895)	1
THE HIGH PRIEST (897)	1
RHOSGOBEL (932)	1
TAKAMURA (984)	1
ALPHAFORCE (986)	1
FLAYED CARCASSES (1020)	1
MR. WRINKLES (1047)	1
MITTS (1049)	1
KORTIK (1054)	1
THE EXECUTIONER (1056)	1
FEUFOLLET (1057)	1

I just need to get something like 5 kills each turn for the next two weeks and I might tie the leader, so the contest extends another week.