The Good Old Days

Unfortunately, we'll never have fun fights like this in the game again.  A thing of the past.

APPLE NEWTON vs GRISTLEPUS (turn 782)


         APPLE NEWTON                  WARRIOR NAME                   GRISTLEPUS          
           114-81-9                       RECORD                       107-74-4            
        FOSSILS (1102)                  TEAM NAME                   THE POD (1519)        
       VIC VEGAS (341)                 MANAGER NAME                  RIPLEY (570)          
          Dwarf Male                   RACE/GENDER                    Dwarf Male          

         is of beastly strength            ====            is of beastly strength          
  has lightning quick movements            <---            has swift movements            
      has a rugged constitution            <---            has a resilient constitution    
         is a gifted strategist            <---            is a quick thinker              
                is grossly thin            --->            could blow away in the wind    

      75-AN INSPIRING GLADIATOR         POPULARITY         AN INSPIRING GLADIATOR-73      
                          3' 8"           HEIGHT           3' 10"                          
                        192 lbs           WEIGHT           204 lbs                        

                     FULL-PLATE           ARMOR            BRIGANDINE                      
                      FULL-HELM            HELM            HELM                            
                        TRIDENT        MAIN WEAPON         JAVELIN                        
                      OPEN HAND         OFF WEAPON         TRIDENT                        
                        TRIDENT        SPARE WEAPON        JAVELIN                        


MINUTE 1
The ref begins the match without delay
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 5
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 6
APPLE NEWTON charges GRISTLEPUS with his trident!
APPLE NEWTON tries to disarm GRISTLEPUS's javelin with his trident
GRISTLEPUS's javelin is knocked from his grasp!
GRISTLEPUS switches his backup javelin to his primary hand!
GRISTLEPUS quickly balances his javelin and throws!
It flies toward APPLE NEWTON's right forearm
  The painful tearing of flesh is heard!
GRISTLEPUS switches his trident to his primary hand
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 4
APPLE NEWTON initiates a breath-taking lunge
APPLE NEWTON tries to disarm GRISTLEPUS's trident with his trident
GRISTLEPUS's trident is knocked from his grasp!
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 6
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 1
APPLE NEWTON attempts a blow against GRISTLEPUS
APPLE NEWTON jabs at GRISTLEPUS's weapon arm
  The blow is merely an annoyance
GRISTLEPUS's good arm is beginning to twitch in pain
GRISTLEPUS darts forward then back, testing his foe!
GRISTLEPUS leaps in toward APPLE NEWTON
APPLE NEWTON miraculously deflects the deadly shot
GRISTLEPUS scoops up a swordbreaker from the ground.
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 4
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 6
A spectator calls out, 'Eat sand, dwarfo!'
APPLE NEWTON lunges quickly
GRISTLEPUS leaps magnificently to intercept the blow
The referee grunts and says 'Stop your drool, ugly fool!'
APPLE NEWTON moves unexpectedly under an attack by GRISTLEPUS!
APPLE NEWTON makes a decisive lunge
APPLE NEWTON is hard-pressed to remain so active while wearing his full plate
APPLE NEWTON falters in execution, failing to hit
APPLE NEWTON steals the initiative from GRISTLEPUS!
APPLE NEWTON initiates harmful action upon the beastly GRISTLEPUS
APPLE NEWTON tries to disarm GRISTLEPUS's swordbreaker with his trident
GRISTLEPUS's swordbreaker is knocked from his grasp!
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 6
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 1
GRISTLEPUS scoops up a maul from the ground.
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 4
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 6
GRISTLEPUS initiates an unrestrained attack on the beastly APPLE NEWTON
APPLE NEWTON dances away from the blow!
Someone in the crowd yells, 'Dwarves are just short half-orcs'
APPLE NEWTON makes a decisive lunge
APPLE NEWTON tries to disarm GRISTLEPUS's maul with his trident
GRISTLEPUS's maul is knocked from his grasp!
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 6
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 1
APPLE NEWTON leaps in toward the swift GRISTLEPUS
APPLE NEWTON tries to pierce GRISTLEPUS's left upper arm with his trident
  Newly spilled blood stains the grounds!
APPLE NEWTON says 'I KILL SO THE IPAD MAY YET LIVE!'
GRISTLEPUS scoops up a swordbreaker from the ground.
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 4
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 6
APPLE NEWTON lunges quickly
APPLE NEWTON tries to disarm GRISTLEPUS's swordbreaker with his trident
GRISTLEPUS's swordbreaker is knocked from his grasp!
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 6
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 1

MINUTE 2
APPLE NEWTON charges GRISTLEPUS with his trident!
APPLE NEWTON makes an attack toward GRISTLEPUS's right breast
APPLE NEWTON's accuracy is rewarded!
  A painful wound is left in the wake of the weapon!
APPLE NEWTON says 'I HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME FIND MY 10TH KILL.  I LEFT IT SOMEWHERE IN THE ARENA.'
APPLE NEWTON watches for weaknesses
APPLE NEWTON lunges skillfully forward
GRISTLEPUS unsuccessfully tries to parry a skillful lunge!
APPLE NEWTON slashes toward GRISTLEPUS's lower body with his trident
  A solid blow has been struck!
GRISTLEPUS has seen better days
* GRISTLEPUS switches to strategy 1
GRISTLEPUS hopes to hit the lightning quick APPLE NEWTON
GRISTLEPUS feigns an attack to get past APPLE NEWTON's trident!
GRISTLEPUS bashes at APPLE NEWTON's lower body
  Some skin is scraped off
APPLE NEWTON makes a swift attack, taking the initiative from GRISTLEPUS!
APPLE NEWTON charges GRISTLEPUS with his trident!
APPLE NEWTON swings a little wide
Someone in the crowd yells, 'Hey look! Dwarfus pachydermatous!'
APPLE NEWTON viciously lunges forward
GRISTLEPUS bounds several yards away!
APPLE NEWTON darts forward then back, testing his foe!
APPLE NEWTON performs what looks like a lunge
APPLE NEWTON tries to strike directly into GRISTLEPUS's left ribs with his trident
APPLE NEWTON takes aim, and hits home!
APPLE NEWTON has landed a potentially critical blow!
   The target area is pulverized!
Sal Streetsweeper gives his two week notice!
GRISTLEPUS's chest heaves as he gasps for breath!
GRISTLEPUS's chest heaves with the pain of an old injury
GRISTLEPUS is searching for missing flesh!
The Blood Master sees GRISTLEPUS dying, then calls for a round of betting!
GRISTLEPUS whips up a sandstorm with his open hand
APPLE NEWTON crashes masterfully against the offending weapon!
GRISTLEPUS's open hand breaks under the impact!
GRISTLEPUS is in great pain!
GRISTLEPUS's weapon arm is bleeding again!
GRISTLEPUS makes threatening motions at the beastly APPLE NEWTON
APPLE NEWTON's dodge attempt is slowed by encumbrance!
GRISTLEPUS bashes at APPLE NEWTON's left breast with his open hand
APPLE NEWTON is providing a very active defense!
GRISTLEPUS narrowly gets past APPLE NEWTON's defenses!
  The attack proves ineffective
GRISTLEPUS is ready to hit APPLE NEWTON
APPLE NEWTON dodges miraculously to avoid the blow
GRISTLEPUS scoops up a swordbreaker from the ground.
* APPLE NEWTON switches to strategy 6
GRISTLEPUS guides a strike at APPLE NEWTON
APPLE NEWTON masterfully intercepts the attack!
The referee says 'Get out of sacred rock pile!'
APPLE NEWTON charges GRISTLEPUS with his trident!
APPLE NEWTON decidedly aims for GRISTLEPUS's right arm
APPLE NEWTON strikes home with an aimed attack
       The strike lands with flesh-splattering fury!
GRISTLEPUS has been permanently injured in the weapon arm!!!
GRISTLEPUS exchanges business cards with the Grim Reaper.
APPLE NEWTON has put down a formidable foe!

APPLE NEWTON has trained in nothing

It has been years since a gladiator could put on a disarming clinic.  But that wasn't the reason why I looked up this fight.  Now I know that AUTOPSY-TURVY has 33 weeks to jump ahead of APPLE NEWTON in kills.     Are there any volunteers?

APPLE struggled between 150 and 200 fights, pulling a 29-21-1.  

So far AUTOPSY is 8-4-3 since hitting 150 fights.     I guess the competition was tougher back then.    

No Gern.  No Nads.  AUTOPSY's not challenging you.  We've had our war.

I am challenging Keeper to bring back Disarm!

Bro, just discard the swordbreaker