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Volume 1, Issue 6 - Turn 354

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Volume 1, Issue 6 - Turn 354

Post  lord_dragon on Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:28 pm

Hello and welcome to the Turn 354 Edition of the Gazette!


We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. Your scrying tablet can't stop us, it can only hope to contain us. Welcome to the latest issue of the Gazette, coming to you with hot Undefeated Warrior action, another monster defeat (with a twist) and two legendary warriors coming out of tourney hiatus for the start of UW.

Contributors to this week's edition of the Gazette include the Gazette's Senior Alliance Analyst Raul Anjinarikar Siv, and fight analysis from storied managers Dux Mortalitas, Caesar Invictus, Stalker and Poeg.

All this, and so much more below.



FEATURED ARTICLE - PITT AND PUNISHER EMERGE FOR UW
Punisher and Pitt, two warriors of singular renown, returned to the sands this week after each spent some time in semi-retirement awaiting the next Veteran's Blade Sanctioned Tournament, with Punisher's self-imposed exile lasting many months indeed. Both warriors emerged from their vacations with something to prove and an eye towards the 100+ Undefeated Warrior crown.

Coming out of hiatus at 75-24-9. Punisher was poised to tie the BC-era 100 fight record with a win. Arrayed against him, was Luz the Evil, a Lord Dragon human with 17 more fights under his belt. Analysis of Punisher's comeback fight, provided by the famed Caesar Invictus himself follows.

"Initially, [Punisher] did not look like his usual self. He simply did not intimidate his opponent the way he used to. Being the only warrior in the arena to have been dead for a time, [Punisher] always looked forward to seeing that look of fear in his opponents' eyes, but his more experienced adversary, Luz The Evil, was not afraid and started the fight by going toe-to-toe with him. Before long, the prodigy of Lord Dragon took charge of the fight, landing a flesh-rending blow in the first minute. After an uneventful second minute, a few signs of the old Punisher began to show through the rust caused by his uncommonly long lay-off. Punisher traded blows with "The Evil" throughout the third minute before landing a critical in the last few seconds, knocking Luz to heavy damage. In the fourth minute, Punisher stormed out, landing a brutal perm with a shot that required Punisher to invest significant effort in withdrawing his weapon from the wound. With that, the fight was called as Luz The Evil pleaded to the Blood Master for his life."

Is the Punisher back? The reviews of his first match are mixed. He wasn't quite like the Punisher of old. We all look forward to the next match. Who knows which Punisher will show up. Regardless, Punisher must be considered a strong bet for the 100+ Undefeated Warrior crown if he can regain his old form. Had other events not occurred concurrently in Turn 354, Punisher's win would have put him in rare company, tied for the existing, BC-era 100 Fight Record. It was not to be however.

Elsewhere, of course, Dux Mortalitas had likewise pulled Pitt from hiatus (albeit much shorter than Punisher's time away) for the beginning of Undefeated Warrior VI, and win, lose or die, Pitt was going to own a new record at 100 Fights that seems nearly unbeatable now.

Of course, Pitt has the distinct advantage of having undergone mystical alteration at the hands of The Keeper's magical allies, thanks to tournament points awarded to Pitt's previous manager, Duke, from past Sanctioned Tournaments. Regardless, Pitt stormed forth from his vacation to capture this distinction with a rare loss. Analysis of Pitt's comeback fight provided by the famed Dux Mortalitas himself follows.

"I was somewhat disappointed with Pitt's performance on this all-important turn. Although he did stamp his name in the history books by taking over the much-coveted Best 100 Fight Record, his loss removed him from the undefeated Warrior contest on the initial turn. As there are no guarantees in our fair sport, I guess that's just the way it goes. Regarding Guardian [Editors note: Caesar Invictus' warrior who defeated Pitt in the random match that removed him from UW], honestly speaking, he just outclassed Pitt in the fight, largely, I think, due to the [Tower Shield] tweak. Pitt just can't get the kind of control and power that he used to have with those things. I'm sure given a new weapon, Pitt will be back in brutal, killing form. However, considering that learning isn't his forte, it might be awhile before he's able to effectively wield anything other than those tower shields."

The Gazette congratulates both Punisher and Pitt on their return to the sandy pits of our beloved arena and looks forward to seeing them both continue to move forward and continue to set arena marks that will stand for all time among the most significant of our times. Both warriors deserve adulation for their accomplishments.

On one final note, given the altered nature of Pitt, The Gazette would like to take a moment to advocate for three separate 100-Fight Record marks to be maintained by the Competition Committee. The first, is of course, Pitt's amazing 82 wins in the BC-era, with a notation regarding his altered status. The second mark would be for non-altered warriors (the mark set at 76 wins by several gladiators of note to this point). It is, of course, arguable, given his resurrection by Caesar Invictus, whether Punisher would qualify for this mark, though The Gazette believes he should be in the conversation. The third mark would belong to Screamer for all time, given his pre-BC era dominance at 81 wins.

It is important to remember those who came before. Without them, there would have been no mark of excellence for Pitt to exceed.



FEATURED ARTICLE - ZURN FIRST TO BEAT PLAYER-MONSTER
It has been a month of significant accomplishments for Sleazee P. Martinee's signature Half-Orc, Zurn Bloodbringer. Having breached the two hundred fight milestone only recently, Zurn took a brief sojourn into team fights only to then shock the entire arena by registering for a Monster fight in turn 354. Some wondered if this was a reaction to Dux Mortalitas' comments in the previous edition of our journal requesting a death match with Zurn. It was not to be, however, as Sleazee P. Martinee zigged instead of zagging, and off Zurn went to a monster fight.

History would have been made, one way or the other, had Zurn Bloodbringer simply matched up with and beaten one of the three remaining original Monsters. After all, to date, only a Half-Elf and an Elf (both from MJ's hallowed stables) had accomplished this task and joined The Bloodmaster's team. Additional history was to be made this day, however, as Zurn Bloodbringer, prodigious Half-Orc, walked onto the sands to meet Nefindil, the aforementioned Elf. A sense of anticipation settled over the entire arena, as many had suspected that should Zurn match up against Nefindil the action would be brief and bloody. While the fight itself was nothing to write home about, the outcome was never in doubt and Nefindil's reign as a member of The Monsters, depressingly short. MJ, having disappeared from our fair city since Nefindil's victory, could not be located for comment.

Asked after the fight for comments on Zurn, Sleazee summed up his career thusly, "I have to say that Zurn has surpassed any of my expectations, especially considering his less than stellar makeup. He has tried many different strategies throughout his long career and finally settled into one that worked best for him. Sometime after he had around 125 fights I had set it as a goal for him to beat Maulbearer's 176 fight record. When he accomplished that I wanted to keep him around longer than [Dux Mortalitas'] Naginata who had a few fewer fights than Zurn. I had on several occasions tried to kill off The Nag, but she was finally done in by Bastion. Once that happened I figured Zurn's record was safe for awhile and decided that I was going to Monster him when he broke 200 fights."

And the rest is history.

The Gazette sends its congratulations to Sleazee P. Martinee and Zurn Bloodbringer for their achievements. This turn has seen the first Half-Orc join The Monsters and also the first defeat of a former gladiator Monster. Good show indeed!



FEATURED ARTICLE - UNDEFEATED WARRIOR ALLIANCE ANALYSIS
As-Salamu Alayjum, it is I, Raul Anjinarikar Siv, and I have been brought in by the Gazette staff to give an Oracle's view into the world of the mighty Alliances of Veteran's Blade, those organizations that represent the most powerful and dangerous managers to walk these sacred halls of blood. It is fitting that the beginning of this Undefeated Warrior contest finds every major alliance standing still, bound by the new challenge rules that the ever-wise Stalker has put in place to give more meaning to his most coveted prize - the mantle of Undefeated Warrior champion.

It is no mystery that the favorite this year is again the Lords of Darkness. And why? By sheer number! They have more managers than the Caliphate has generals, I can tell you this. Bringing in nine high-caliber managers, they have had a lock on this coveted award three years in a row (that one year of course, doesn't count...doesn't count). A most auspicious beginning as well, strong as a bull in winter, with 119 warriors remaining poised for victory across the nine managers. For those who are short an abacus, that is 13 warriors left per manager. It is never too early to make a prediction on the outcome of UW VI. It is therefore the opinion of this lowly merchant of information that once again the LoD will take the title. It has been spoken.

Like elephants rumbling through the steppes, the other large alliances, GAPPDA (this reporter refuses to expand their ludicrous name) and the (ironically-named) No Bozo Squad came in with impressive showings. With 83 warriors and 52 warriors left respectively, it may be that either of these alliances, with their characteristic and filthy coordinated attacks, will give the Lords of Darkness a run for their money. However, GAPPDA suffered a minor blow before the turn even ran, when the immutable and esteemed Hoffa (and his stable) missed the turn as his horse fell ill coming through the eastern mountains. I assure you that the Padishah's sizable wager on the Lords of Darkness had nothing to do with this unfortunate event. It is down to Stalker now to randomly select a harem of 12 from Hoffa's warriors to carry forth his name, good or otherwise.

Rounding out the less-populated alliances where DIE and FoF. With an impressive 32 warriors among 2 managers left in DIE, one wonders if they will literally be the last Half-orc standing when the dust settles. The Facilitators of Fatalities where not so lucky, having a bit of a rough turn but still holding forth 28 strong warriors between three mercenary managers. I cannot help but wonder if perhaps their services will go out to the highest bidder in order to whittle away the competition with their freed up warrior brigades? My love ladies of blood, I know one very powerful, wealthy man who is betting (literally) that you will.

Though it was refreshing to see the alliances challenging no one in turn 354, my spies report an early run on the challenge form counter and I understand that Keeper’s commission has been ordered to slaughter every sheep in town for vellum to fill the need.

Finally, there are rumors that the Undertakers may become active once again and rally to their flag. If this is so, than I will have to hire more staff!

One thousand pardons but the sand in the hourglass has run out...I bid you Salaam and happy hunting.



FEATURED ARTICLE - THE REST OF THE UW STORY
Its not always easy to remember that there are independent managers left in Veteran's Blade, but there are many, and several had solid-to-exceptional first turns in this year's Undefeated Warrior. Others, including some who might have been expected to do very well indeed, turned in disappointing performances (particularly for the oddsmakers). Still, no Undefeated Warrior is won in the first turn. For example, last year's initial leaders, Acheron and Dux Mortalitas, both bowed out of the contest long before it reached its conclusion. Last year's eventual victor on the other hand, Solincar Nelflan, had only 12 warriors left in the fight after the first turn (the other semifinalists, Marius and Palor, had 15 warriors alive for the second week). So what does this say exactly?

Well, perhaps it means things are looking up for both Acheron and Dux Mortalitas, neither of whom duplicated last year's 18-win openers. Acheron moves into the second turn of Undefeated Warrior with 14 participants, while Dux manages only 11.

Perhaps it means nothing and The Overlord's 18 wins in the opening turn this year are the true harbinger of things to come. Other independent managers with solid first turns include Yopi (17 remaining warriors), Chen Man Ching (16), Caesar Invictus (16), Commandant Eitch (16), and rookies Drakus (15), and E=MC2 (15).

Independent managers of note who had relatively disappointing turns (besides the aforementioned) include The Warlord (10 gladiators remaining), Terminator (10), Nemesis (8), Damion (8), Izzboticus (8), and Danny D Bloody (6).

Reached for comment on the opening turn of UW VI, Acheron had this to say. "Obviously the opening round doesn't mean that much to me after the way last year worked out. Of all my warriors who won in the opener last year, I never would have picked Bladestorm to be the one still cooking in round 10. I'm pleased overall to have 14 gladiators active, and they're more or less the ones I expected. Keeping things positive, the losses free up warriors for me to leverage against the managers that challenged mine in 354."

Dux Mortalitas, reached at his tavern, summarized his first turn thusly, "I had an extremely rare 11-14-1 turn, which really caught me by surprise. Most of my warriors are well accustomed to random matchups, as I've always felt that keeping them prepared for the general population was vital to their long term success. So I can't say this turn's losses were the result of not challenging. Going over the fights, I think I just had a lot of misfortune this turn. Of course I don't want to rest on my laurels, so I will keep rewatching the fights in my scrying pools to catch any correctable mistakes."

So with turn one of Undefeated Warrior done, we now look forward to the natural attrition of turn two. Like the alliances, will the independents now start to whittle away at the top title threats? Or will they feed on themselves?

Any way it goes, The Gazette looks forward to turn two of Undefeated Warrior VI.



THIS TURN'S 100 FIGHT BIRTHDAYS
This turn saw five warriors hit their 100th fight, three more than had been expected during the writing of last week's Gazette. In two cases this was because warriors that had been sand-bagged for the next Sanctioned Tournament (Pitt and Punisher, as noted above) came out of retirement for Undefeated Warrior. In one other case, Shopslave's Grinder had been overlooked by our staff due to his penchant for team fights. The achievements of Pitt and Punisher have been chronicled elsewhere, so we turn finally to the two warriors we had foreseen making this milestone in the last issue: Lord Kelvin's Praestus and Felix's Rambo.

Lord Kelvin's Praestus had the rougher hundredth birthday of the two, facing off with Acheron's wunderdwarf, Robin Williams, who was facing Praestus at a significant fight disadvantage. This disadvantage did not result in the loss, however, and Praestus was forced to limp out of his hundredth fight with a record of 51-49-2.

Elsewhere Felix's Rambo faced The Demon's soon-to-be-one-hundred Harkess and came away with a win and a 51-49-6 record at one hundred fights.

Sadly (or not, depending on your point of view), Shopslave's Grinder ended his 100th Fight in a pine box, expiring with a record of 59-41-3 at the hands of a more experienced warrior, Rommel. Analysis of Grinder's final fight provided graciously by Rommel's manager, and UW Coordinator, Stalker.

"The fight started out fairly slow, with both warriors using mostly defensive strategies to feel out their opponent. Neither warrior really did anything in the first minute. A strategy change by Rommell in the second was exactly what Grinder wanted to see as he thumped Rommell pretty good with 2 or 3 nasty shots, forcing Rommell to change strats yet again. The ensuing strat change by Rommell was all he needed. He was able to turn the tide of the fight and place repeated wicked hits on Grinder, causing him to feel the collective pains from his 99 prior fights. The end came suddenly from a well placed death-blow directly to Grinders heart, turning organs into jelly and thus finishing both Grinder's life and career at exactly 100 fights."


NEXT TURN'S 100 FIGHT BIRTHDAYS
The Demon's Harkess will stumble into 100 Fights next turn with a losing record. The Gazette is pulling for a Bastion-like turnaround for Harkess in the 100+. Joining Harkess in the 100s also is Sleazee P. Martinee's The Rage to Overcome.


NOTABLE DEATHS
While Turn 354 was easily one of the more deadly by sheer numbers since The Gazette began circulation, it also is distinctive by the sheer number of warriors who died in random fights, and perished so with more than 50 fights of experience under their belt.

We begin the coverage of this extremely sanguine day in Veteran's Blade history, by giving the briefest of mentions to two warriors, who, though they lived long and fought many, barely register among the hallowed dead of the turn. With these words, we send off Ragnarok's Tim Dwight (19-41-1) and Ffunker's Moises (16-57-0) into the abyss. Given both managers are developing better crops of rookie warriors of late, we hope to never again bury with them warriors of such ineptitude. Instead, we bow our heads to (and the fans raise their arms for) Lord Dragon's Bringer of Death and Marcus' Pain for dispatching them.

Working our way upwards in the rankings we begin our deeper look at the departed by turning to the only warrior with more than 100 fights of experience to pass this turn: Terminator's Sneezy, dispatched by Poeg's original Oddball Trident-wielding Dwarf, Hognosed. Sneezy leaves the arena having compiled an outstanding 71-46-2 record. We can only wonder now what heights Sneezy might have reached if his stay in Veteran's Blade had not been cut short. Poeg provided his view of the battle to the Gazette as the dust settled on Sneezy's career.

"The first mangling shot of the second round took Sneezy within sight of his demise. The next saw a hideous wound torn into Sneezy’s chest which had both the Bloodmaster and Ref ordering flowers for the wake. A lesser elf might have just lain down and surrendered to his fate but Sneezy sucked it up and took the fight to Hognosed, landing a bone jarring blow which put Hognosed back on his heels. On this turn however Hognosed was making it known that it was not his time to die and finally landed a grievous, permanent injury, ending the conflict… Sneezy succumbed to a lethal thrashing!"

Discussed in a previous section, one other 100-Fight warrior was dismissed permanently from duty this turn, as Shopslave's Grinder was dismantled by Stalker's Rommel. It seems that spending a high percentage of one's career scum-farming is no cure-all for catastrophic organ failure.

Moving on to what was arguably the kill of the turn after Hognosed's slaying of Sneezy, we come to Grunyon's devastation of Poppa Balrog's killer Half-Orc Yoder, who dies on the sands with a record of 50-30-8 (not counting a ninth kill gained in a team fight). In the stands, the fans were treated to a bloody back and forth fight, with both warriors landing extremely heavy hits. In the end, two warriors entered and both left, though one on a pallet.

Reached for comment after the fight, Davron noted, "As you could see from the seats, classic Dwarven toughness vs brute Half-Orc strength. Lots of flailing away. In end chalk one up for tough gruff folk."

Poppa Balrog was emotional after the loss of his prized killer, yelling angrily across the stadium, "That damn Davron and that thrice damned Grunyon! I'm not in a position to properly Blood Challenge, but mark my words; revenge will be mine!"

Moving down a bit, we come to the death of Drachir's oldest warrior Schools Out, at the hands of JT the Half-Ogre's nasty Human Jupiter 2. Schools Out, though compiling a somewhat unremarkable career (dying with a record of 40-41-4) won't be missed by one GAPPDA manager. Warriors belonging to Marius accounted for all four of Schools Out's career kills: Crusher De Certeau (9-12-1, turn 315), Stuff Happens (24-13-0, Turn 321), Stomp the Violence (26-12-6, Turn 322 BC) and Bit Torrent (32-20-0, Turn 339) all died at his hands. Reached for comment, Marius spat out, "That [epithet deleted] needs to be resurrected so I can kill him this time."

Moving once more slightly down the ranks, we come to the slaying of Nads' Bloodspiller by Izzbot's Groundhawg. Neither manager was available for comment after the match, but one warrior who had faced Bloodspiller a few turns ago, on the condition of anonymity noted after the fight, "That was a scary elf. I beat him, but I can't explain how. He was built like a monster, and frankly I'm happy I won't run into it again."

Dropping a bit further, we come to the mis-match kill of the turn in Avian Influenza's defeat of the more experienced Questionable, run by alliance-mate Valcor Aurthor. The streak of Lod on LoD violence continues unabated with Palor's Elf's dismantling of the Half-Orc. Reached for comment at Dux's Tavern following the day's action, Palor noted, "In this case, I would say that Avian did Valcor's stable a favor by removing such an aged orc from his roster. So lets all drink to Questionable, he died as a true Half-Orc should. In battle."

Palor's stable was apparently not satisfied with a single 50+ fight kill on this day, and in later action, Palor's Dwarf Messiah engaged and slaughtered Dude Doomer's Dwarf Morgon (whose career ends, as Dude Doomer's second oldest warrior, at 34-34-3). Both managers commented briefly after the fight.

"Morgon is no more and I'm not so surprised," said Dude Doomer, "because his vital statistics just weren't optimal. He was strong, but slow with no heart. He was one of my first gladiators. Now only Livarot is still alive, though hanging by a string as he is very dumb. You can forget Morgon 2 but maybe the third will be better. There will be no BC to avenge Morgon's death. All of his teammates are just too inexperienced."

Palor spoke more briefly after the action. "When 2 beastly Dwarves with great weapons fight it's bound to have a bloody and fatal outcome. Morgon just forgot that a Great Pick turns Full Plate into papier mache, rendering his tank tactic useless."

The only 50+ death in a challenge fight in turn 354 occurred when JB Bladeswinger and his Half-Orc Aangore challenged up on Davron's sub-500 warrior, Gnat only to be slaughtered for his trouble. In a fairly one-sided match, Gnat surprised the spectators by dominating and punching large holes in Aangore with his stiletto. Davron again took a moment after the match to comment to the Gazette, saying "[The fight] was notable only from the standpoint that its another kill by the mighty stiletto. For any doubting the ability of this weapon, perhaps this will raise a few eyebrows. On the other hand, it was against everyones' favorite punching bag...the Half-orc!

Rounding out the matches in which 50+ warrior's met their demise, Damion's Boo Boo killed Rachel'' Strider (dead at 31-28-1) and Bill Taylor's Legella killed Xenzar Devrie's Small Time (finished at 27-28-4).

Truly the bloodiest turn of our short time in operation. The Gazette salutes all of the fallen.



BC ROUNDUP
It was an unsurprisingly quiet turn for BCs, given the inception of Undefeated Warrior VI, with most managers allowing bygones to be bygones (at least until able BCers are eliminated from UW). That said, a small number of managers went ahead with the willing disqualification of warriors through Blood Challenging (or perhaps weren't paying attention to the new rules).

THE GOOD
In this environment of reduced BCs it appeared that several managers chose to throw dreck warriors at their targets. As a result, there were a disproportionate number of warriors who fought off BCs while at a fight disadvantage when compared to the overall BC numbers for the turn (over 1/4 of all BCs ended in a less experienced warrior fighting off a more experienced blood challenger).
Congratulations to the following warriors who fought off BCs while at a fight disadvantage (in parentheses)

Alphaforce's Poop Noodle (18)
Commandant Eitch's Tickle Me Tiamat (17)
Fusion's Mud (11)
Mithril's Raarx (8)
Sanguine Savior's Mendelson Shape (8)
Sanguine Savior's Motherskille (3)
Alphaforce's Pual "The Big" (2)
Black Foxx's Cheezit (1)

On the flip side, the Gazette sends its congratulations to the following warriors lucky enough to encounter an honor farmer or at best a misguided (but perhaps closely-ranked underdog). Again if anything shows through the consequences of the start of UW, its the number of BCs that qualify (only two, fight advantage shown in parentheses).

Sdan's DJ Dizzle (5)
Pip the Troll's Stan (1)

BC Fight off of the week goes to Tickle Me Tiamat's defeat of Willbilly's Half-Orc #2 (what a creative name!). We cannot give any credit to Poop Noodle's defeat of a winless 30 fight warrior. Edward Teach, we implore you to monster I'm Not Creative. For the children.

THE BAD
Validian took the opportunity to get a relatively rare win for One Hit Blunder (11-30-0 before the fight) by dropping him on Silencer's 12-Fight Thump, who earned this questionable beating by dispatching even more execrable (3-14-0) Gift for the Buzzards last turn.

THE UGLY
The ugliest BC of the turn was dropped by that shining beacon of managerial wherewithal, LivestroNg (we refuse to write his name without the N). While gathering himself a respectable 13 wins otherwise, LivestroNg also gained himself 14 points of dishonor for Sojourn's visit to a 5 Fight warrior.

The Gazette staff imagines that Caesar Invictus, not one to suffer abuse of his warriors without comment, will have an interesting response to this fight in turns to come.

Regardless of the 10 points of dishonor accrued by Longfellow's BC this turn, we simply cannot lump it in the same category as Sojourn's.


HONOR ROUNDUP
Unsurprisingly, Honor Farming more or less took the turn off for the first week of Undefeated Warrior, leaving the biggest positive Honor plays being made almost completely through bounty collection. This was helped considerably by the sheer amount of death in Turn 354's random matches as three bounties of 6 or more honor points were reaped on the turn.

These three bounties happened to also determine the top three honor gainers among managers for the turn. Damion and his warrior Boo Boo were the biggest honor gainers on the turn by pulling in 8.9 points of honor (7.5 alone for the random kill of Rachel's Strider). Following Damion were Valcor Aurthor (gaining 6.5 of his 8.8 points of honor in Stoney's kill of challenger Aho's Tchkoslovakya) and Ffunker (6.3 of his 8.5 points coming from Stephane Dobispo's random kill of Sah's Ashautumn).

Other honor bounties collected on the turn include Silencer's Whoodini pulling in 4.4 points of honor for killing The Overlord's Warfare, Yopi's Gadula reaping 1.7 points of Honor in a random kill of The Spoiler's Never Odd or Even, Davron's Gnat gaining 1.4 points in killing Bladeswinger's challenger Aangore (discussed briefly above), Madol's Sword gaining just under a point of honor for killing Cliff Banana's Super Lance (and here The Gazette thought a Cliff Banana warrior accruing dishonor was unpossible) and Sanguine Savior's Burn in Hell gaining a fraction of honor for killing Chaos Lillith's Calico Jack.

Downchallenges being rare on the turn due to Undefeated Warrior, downwards BCs were the key determinants of the top manager dishonor slots for the turn. Three managers sacrificed opportunities in UW VI to toss real doozies in the BC department. LivestroNg was the big honor loser this week by dropping 45-Fight loser Sojourn on Caesar Invictus's 5-Fight Eldaris, with Drakus coming in a strong second for his drop of 20-Fight Longfellow on 7-Fight Alpha. Coming in third on the turn (and again thanks to a BC) was Validian, primarily due to One Hit Blunder's elbow drop from 29 Fights up on Silencer's Thump.

Otherwise, it was easy to see in the dishonor rankings who didn't realize that UW was beginning in 354. The Gazette has a hearty laugh at the expense of multi-accounter Bonesnap/Zeus for sending the majority of both his teams into challenges in 354. Other notable challengers (though more restrained) in UW week one included Ragnarok, Panther, Bandit and Boot Strap Billy.


MANAGER OF THE WEEK
With 18-7 turns entirely in random matches, the Manager of the Week award is split by The Overlord, Valcor Aurthor, Cliff Banana and Ffunker. Excellent showing by all four managers in week one of Undefeated Warrior. These four will be tough to catch up with in week 2 and beyond.

Honorable Mention goes to Jim the Half-Ogre and his 24-1-2 turn. Even though 13 of these wins were against Peasant scum, The Gazette simply can't ignore a 24-win turn when combined with a singles kill of an 81 fight warrior.


RANDOM NOTES
After three straight turns with one kill each, Palor's stable broke out with five kills this turn, including the demolition of two warriors with more than fifty fights experience.

There's a significant wave of warriors that will reach 100 fights over the next five turns. Not counting Harkess, who will hit 100 fights in Turn 355, the ranks of the 100+ will be swelled soon by Ilneval's Mantronic and Saraya, Lord Kelvin's Hell's Fury, Sanguine Savior's Hot Carl and Whoop DDamn Doo, Poeg's Bull, Shopslave's Swish, Damion's Belial, and Stalker's Rommel.

Its worth noting that in taking the 100-Fight Record from Screamer this turn, Dux Mortalitas turned the tables on Palor, who took the 50-Fight record from Glorial with Burning Butterfly not long ago.


THIS TURN IN QUOTES
"I fought a good fighter today. He came out strong and had me worried early in the fight. I didn't panic, I stuck with my strategy and took the decisive win. I didn't expect the fight to go four minutes and I'm disappointed by that, but the end result is what matters. I was just glad to finally be back in the arena. I sure have missed it." - Punisher, after his comeback fight against Luz the Evil.

"Not having fought Pitt before I wasn't sure what to expect, and now after the fight I understand how he acquired his impressive record. Ironically, Pitt was out-Pitted by Guardian who uses the exact same combo of strategies. Today the more experienced Guardian executed better, but if these two warriors were to match again who knows what might happen. It was not a great fight, but it was an incredible match, the combined records of these two gladiators is an impressive 167-51-13. This loss should in no way detract from Pitt's accomplishment, owning the best record ever at 100 fights." - Caesar Invictus, Manager of Guardian

"Zurn has made me proud and has proven that the time of the orc is now! Orcs have been my favored race since my beginnings in the Pit and am glad that one from my stable has accomplished so much. Zurn deserves to spend the rest of his days smashing pathetic excuses for warriors until the day that he returns to his orcish god." - Sleazee P. Martinee, on Zurn Bloodbringer

"Needless to say Rommell wasn't too happy when he strolled into the arena this week and saw Grinder walking in from the other side. Facing one of Shopslave's warriors is never a pleasant thing, especially his most senior warrior and a Half-Orc at that. Rommell is very happy just to have walked out alive, let alone ending Grinders life. Hopefully Shopslave's 20-5 turn will take some of the sting out of his loss." - Stalker, discussing Rommel's slaying of Shopslave's Grinder

"It was one of those matches were you just know they’re looking for someone to die and this turn, Hognosed was determined to not be that someone. His last match with Sneezy was a bloody event lasting just as long but this time Hognosed was enjoying the fruits of some nice late-in-the-career body-building. It was pretty close with Sneezy carrying a slight advantage until Hognosed got sight of his own blood. Then all hell broke loose." - Poeg, speaking of Hognosed's match with dearly departed Sneezy



WHISPERS AROUND THE VETERAN'S BLADE
In following up last week's note, our reporters seen Chaos Lillith in many a whispered conference on the outskirts of the Arena or in more secluded booths within Dux's Tavern. Money is changing hands. When innocently questioned, Chaos would only offer, "Wars and tourneys are good for business." and smile a devious, smug smile. Pruflas and Thanatos then escorted our reporter bodily from her presence. These actions make us wonder: Are managers trying to influence the hands of fate? Should we watch what we eat? Would the referee notice if a gladiator went suddenly limp and passed out for no reason?

Rumor has it that Oblivion, who this turn demolished Frank's young Elf Glorfindel, is an apprentice of the one and only Burning Butterfly. Though he uses a different weapon then Burning Butterfly, it sure seems like he has the same spark that his mentor carried into the ring.

The city erupted after the fight action this week as at least two rival managers accused Palor of widely distributing Little Debbies to his warriors before the turn. "How else to explain the five kills this turn?" mentioned one of the accusers. "He probably thought no one would notice if they died on the first turn of UW and in randoms!"

Rumor has it that Sleazee P. Martinee has recruited a true-born son of Zurn Bloodbringer to replace his father on his roster. Though other Half-Orcs have carried the family name into Veteran's Blade, El'Jer is the first to carry the family name with Zurn's blessing.


That's if for this week's edition of The Gazette! If you'd like to submit items for a future edition or provide feedback and clarifications, please pm them to my account on pitt.bloodspit.net.

-The Staff at The Pitt Gazette

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